as hes led to the chair
his head is held high
an air of difiance surronded him
as he was led to his chair
the last time his legs would fold
and gently lower his body
so many years hed lived
scared with memorys
of past sins
and lost chances
he did not smile
but stared coldly at those gathered
to watch his final moments
no family no friends
just witness to this crime
of a man no matter how guilty
this murder of a man
the needle did not slide smoothly into his skin
but was wresteled into him
slowly and aganozingly over 15 minutes
till it was in and slowly
the toxic fluid filled his viens
he died proud
not the man he used to be
but slowly becoming
the man he could have been
dont think you should ave repeated the 'he was led to the chair at the start- sounds like you just got too lazy to think up another line. if you repeated it three times it would maybe sound more intentional. seriously, check the punctuation and spelling- hes should probably be he's and difiance maybe defiance- yeah? loved the last lineshe died proud sad and incomplete not the man he used to be but slowly becoming the man he could have been so so much, they just made my heart bleed out cause they're dripping with raw feeling. love the poem overall- a great and thoughtful tribute. sarah x
I didn't really have any knowledge of those events however this peace offers and a wider tire to steam-roll-over the idea of the death penalty. If we kill every killer than eventually noone will be left because we become killers by killing killers. At first I though the whole led to the chair line was going to be repeated as it may be in SLAM, but i don't think it distracts. There are a few grammatical issues to correct the tense is wrong on the first hes led to the chair. Should witness be witness'? I'm no ggod at grammer I could be wrong. All in all I think it's a pretty solid write. peace
this is the second “Tookie” write I have seen. And this time I took a peek at the sentiment from the previous posts. I see what appears to be how some media fed people react. I do wonder if they have the whole story. society has become a propaganda machine, we were led into war based on lies. there is a stunningly large amount of misinformation/distorted facts while those who like nothing more than blood to be repaid feed on that. it is a testament of our times. most live on soundbites and base their hatred off of that. if anything this has taught me, it is that the system is designed for one purpose only: to carry out revenge. And on very few levels it is designed for rehabilitation. these people who sit on high horses and condemn others has me feeling nothing but sadness for what society has become. a nebulous media induced paradigm. we are taught to blame one, the assassinations of both Kennedy’s and Martin Luther King, one sacrifice is chosen. Waco seemed to have never taught these people anything of the corruption of the state. Truth has no place in this system anymore. any fool with two eyes and ears should “see” that. but no they would rather have a “diet” of a few minutes and never have to put the work in themselves to investigate. So the outcome will be more murders in the name of God, justice, and freedom. And you bet your little asses we all pay for that. that is all I will say. sorry for the rant, nice write,
Dis respect no thats not the case. I give you your opinins and they can be against his demise. I'll give you that he did write many books with good intent from prision. Yes, he might have touched many lives from his cell. But, was he guilty of killing those people? Did he take away life that was not his to erase? Did he not know the penalty for his actions? Was he above the law, are the laws mute? If so where does anyone begin to feel the laws are to be obeyed? WHO gave him the right to decide who lives? You see, its not just opinions here it is the base of our structure as a country, we must live in peace with our nieghbors. When some one negates those rules, there is always a price to pay. He paid with his life. To me that was justice. LATER
Totally true. I hate the death penalty, and he was doing more good with the books he was writing than the police are by killing him. The last lines are very touching, but im afraid also that you glorify him a little too much. But still, i like the poem and it hits home on the issue.
Firstly; it was a bed (gurney), not a chair. Secondly; he was not murdered, it was a legal execution for CRIMES committed against law abiding innocent individuals. He was the murderer, and he paid the price the law said a man might have to pay if one committed acts of violence. Thirdly;He died not proud, but in shame if he truely KNEW the God he claimed he come to know. Last of all; you do need grammer fixed. LATER
Damn I never thought that I would see a poema about tookie. I have mixed emotions about the case itself because when you kill 4 people you no longer need your life because you don't value the lives of others. but that's another story for another day. this one is pretty good and full of a lot of emotion but you used "led to the chair" too close together. It made it sound slightly immature but once you got past hte occurance it got better. you might want to change that but otherwise this one was really good. i just mihgt maje it a fav. you need to work on spelling and Grammar which is always a given but otherwise ok.
one thing i look for in a poem is grammer, and this grammer needs to be changed. but other than that i liked the meaning. tookie did not deserve to be killed. he did kill 4 people, but he didn't have to die for it. i liked how the poem showed he's expression and emotion before he was executed. i disagree with 'dreamweaver', there was only 2 'led to the chair', so it was okay. though i suggest you go back and edit the grammer. but i liked how it covered the time that he walked in and the time in which he died. and how it talked about the time in which he was inprisoned and lost so much time he could have spent doing fun things. i liked it, it was good, but do fix the grammer.
One too many "led to the chair(s)" in the first lines. This was a good poem.
he died proud sad and incomplete
I liked that part of your piece, it really stood out and grabbed at me, I guess that would be the best way to put it. Though I'm not too sure how I feel about this subject in it's self, you wrote a good piece about it. The ending was very good also I thought. Keep it up!