Napoleon was gay!
Caught your attention didn’t I? Sex sells. Sex makes the world go round. Sex is good even when it's bad. This is going to be a multi-featured rant, much like Medusa's head, which had a zillion snakes, all coming out of one little ugly skull. So, hold tight, and stand clear.
I'm sick of the blatant sexualization of anything and everything. I mean, just the other day, I saw an advertisement for a leading financial journal featuring a semi-clad woman. Whatever happened to political correctness in these days of feminist activism? Would a half-naked woman with a luscious body influence my buying decision? Probably not, because I need hard figures, not a hard-on. Business and pleasure do so not mix, honey! If I wanted porn, there's always the option of buying Hustler or Playboy.
Next thing I know, I'll see nuns indulging in same-sex copulation, trying to coerce me into taking up a life of spiritual perversion. Now, lesbianism is enticing, isn’t it? Who doesn't want to see two nuns getting it on, breaking their celibacy vows in the sanctum sanctorum? Mmmmm…Good freakin' idea for a porn movie, if it hasn't been used up already.
A few years back, I heard of some dorks trying to sell coffee using some sexually graphic imagery. How innovatively devoid of ideas can ad agencies get? I mean, coffee's related to sex, right? Every time we want to have reproductive dress-rehearsals, we ask our date if they'd like to come in for some "coffee", which is another way of saying, "I'm horny, are you too?" Not just that, coffee keeps you awake, because of all that caffeine, or so I'm told.
Now, imagine being out with a friend, and she suddenly pounces on you. Why? Because you're considered to be a slut-male or female, gender is inconsequential. HELLO! I might be a slut, but I'm a choosy one at that. Leave me ALONE, you over-sexed nymphomaniac. Over-sexed nymphomaniac…how redundant. Besides, all that sex means that the slut needs some sexual rest sometimes.
I see famous celebrities' secret sex lives being exposed, and kids trying to emulate their idols. Wake up kids! Those are born degenerates. They live in a fake world, a PR illusion. Don't even think of going there. You'll hate it. They need those kinks and perversions because it takes away their emptiness, albeit momentarily. And most of those dalliances you hear of are PR stunts anyway. You'll never know the true sexuality of most stars. It's all about bankability and Swiss bank accounts, baby.
I see kids as young as 14/15 boast about their sexual prowess and conquests. That's the age when you should be studying and playing soccer or netball you morons, not indulging in recreational reproductive activities. No wonder you're a mother at age 15 or a father at 14. How can we expect a kid to bring up a kid, I ask? Abortion is an option, yes, but I believe it should be a restrictive option, exercised very selectively. You're losing out on your childhood. Losing your virginity at an early age doesn't necessarily make you mature, my friend. Don't you want to enjoy those glorious, hormonal imbalance-infested teens? Maybe you were lucky enough to have a good childhood. People like me long for those wonder years. Maybe that's why we're overgrown kids. Why do you want to grow up so quickly? Adulthood sucks, trust me, more than the shoddy teens. Pun intended.
People sleep around and cut business deals. How fair is that? Tomorrow, a homosexual man might give a contract to his gay lover instead of me, just because the other dude kisses his ass, literally. Alternatively, my gay friend might lose out a contract because I slept with the straight female boss. Sex shouldn't be a stepping-stone to better career opportunities and job progression.
In a way, I blame the increase in sex-related crime rates on this over-the-board sexualization of modern day society. You give them a taste of blood, and then they want more. If they can't have it, yet everyone is supposed to have it, they go out and commit a crime. I guess that's a general motive behind most crimes: Man's inherent greed.
I see powerful people commit sexual offences on helpless women, who bear a cross which isn't theirs, for the rest of their lives. Others cut their lives short with a blade or pills. The law is blind; the world runs on money, so the powerful people move freely in their high society circles, unscathed by allegations, never paying for their crimes. I see women in need being promised riches and fame beyond their belief and means. All they eventually get is a scarred psyche and a violated body.
I agree that Victorian morals are ancient, but we need to exercise our new-found sexual liberation in moderation. Ever thought about AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, genital warts, genital herpes and other similar sexually transmitted diseases? Did you take any precautions the last time you had sex?
Before I end this rant, BOYS, don't freakin' treat your woman like a sex toy. Give her respect, and realize that there's more to most women than their hot bodies. And women, STOP dating jerks for heaven's sake. Exercise your right to choose and the right to DUMP.
God wants you to have sex, or we'd have storks dropping babies, you dorks! Just use your freedom sensibly. True freedom is about control; learn to exercise control and restraint when you must. Okie dokie, its time for me to go and get some ;-). Later, folks. (My hypocrisy strikes again.)