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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Gardendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: thetwilight
    ASL Info:    23/F/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.4 - 81/68/15
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 788
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 906



    Description:
       Just a bit of tangy sentiment.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Gardendots
    -------------------------------------------


    I dropped my ice cream cone
    I dropped the noose
    On the broken lattice fence
    I always had such clumsy hands.

    Such small hands.

    In the garden
    The strawberries cannot grow
    The roses are taking over

    Taking over.

    The sky is kindergarten blue…
    And I am a dungeon.
    Locked up so tight…
    I can’t let in the sun.

    I want the sun.

    I can’t seem to find the switch.
    To let it in.
    I want to be a window…
    I want to be lace drapes.

    I want to be the pane.

    The butterflies
    Land on the forsaken toys
    Carelessly discarded in the grass
    It’s silly…
    When you consider that…

    Sometimes the forgotten
    Is more beautiful then
    The beloved
    In the bittersweet eyes of the world.




    Submitted on 2005-12-15 12:36:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ...um i think these fine folks got this poem all wrong. mabye im wrong who knows but...
    i thought the write was describing a horrible absence of something inportant. i dont think its love for the writer but rather love and caring in the world. i think this was an example of someone hiding from the pain of the world, and u used the garden as a way to entertain the idea of withdrawl from the negitivity but the seclusion destroyed the writer the same way the world would have. the fantasy element was astounding. great write...i hope im not the one who misinterpreted it. lol
    -sun/justiin
    | Posted on 2006-02-27 00:00:00 | by Sun | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the last verse. I'll probably think of why later, at the most annoying time, but it made me think of all those artists, who when alive were a mockery or ignored, were considered genius in their art when they died. I like your poetry.
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Red_reaper | [ Reply to This ]
      That's so pretty. I love it. The imagery and stuff is excellent. Very creative. I have a lot of favorite parts, so I won't point them all out. I would comment better, but it's laundry time Beautifully done

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't understand the write perfectly *contradict plainly* To me, it seems like you're a person who cannot find her way out of her shell, who is trapped within one's self and is struggling to find a way out. o_o
    I liked how it didn't rhyme at all.
    xD
    -Mi
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]
      In my opinion this is a good piece of work. I am a very liberal writer, i believe in structure, but lean more towards passion, so it is hard for me to find fault with a piece of work that shows passion.
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
      I understand this write perfectly
    You are longing to find Love and understanding with the World but barriers keep popping up stopping you from moving forward
    I believe the secret to prevent those barriers from appearing is
    Positive Energy
    Stay Positive
    I will be looking for more of your writes
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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