[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: "Shadow Box"dots

    Author: Martin S. Allen
    ASL Info:    33 male
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 671/237/43
    Words: 208
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1463
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1396


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Shadow Box"dots

    Bedtime in cages, alone in my box
    Devil may care with reckless abandon
    Hopeless happenings with daunted desire
    My life as seen from behind these bars
    Done with comfort! ill-fated endeavor
    The fires of hell bent sadists and sinners

    Imprinting the words of this good book
    On pages of sorrow and memory cells
    Intent on love to give direction
    In the captorís hands, a twisted reflection
    Hate for love, good for evil
    Sickness for health, a lost connection

    Growing tired of life in a box
    Thorns and thistles, stones and rocks
    Wailing and gnashing of teeth
    Cuts and bruises are all I see
    A body full of scratches, sickness and scars
    Can I see, that this is me?

    With testimonies to courts and juries
    I hold contempt for fear and fury
    Wars they rage within my veins
    The blood it flows from day to day
    Moving on in body and spirit
    My mind remains in this cage
    Endless days tied and tattered
    Sleepless nights scarred and shattered
    Whatís the matter?

    Submitted on 2005-12-15 13:50:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was a random one I picked to read & for your submission I like the lyrical feel and this just hit a personal note with me and my younger brother...we all are the shadow & the light!

    Happy Day!

    love,peace,joy&smiles to share

    | Posted on 2007-09-24 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      You write very well, I read it aloud and my voice seemed to pick up pace and a fury-
    it might mean different things to different people but-
    (reading above qoutes)
    it dosen't matter the general feeling gets across all barriers.
    The one line -
    hold contempt for fear and fury
    brought to mind shakespear or faulkner...
    I don't know why.

    | Posted on 2007-09-10 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]
    | Posted on 2006-11-07 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]
      ah, finally, someone who can write! well, there are some others but they are far and few between. and some are just plain crazy! but then what writer isn't a little dysfunctional! I really like this but wonder if you are speaking of a literal or figurative prison, or both? it's quite well done either way. is there a significance to the expansive white space?
    | Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      your writings are powerful.. in many different ways.. i think each person reading them may think of something different.. it's a bit haunting... i most certainly like it.. i think i might stalk you for awhile.. if i can figure out how again
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by Justmenow14 | [ Reply to This ]
      I wrote a poem similar to this. It is called 'trapped'. It's about someone who finds themeselves trapped inside their own minds, and nothing else...but they don't understand what is binding them...that it is their own selves that keeps them from their happiness.
    The Conqueror
    | Posted on 2005-12-26 00:00:00 | by The Conqueror | [ Reply to This ]
      Good piece. This poem conveys a lot of theories, I'm not even so sure what it's about. It could be anything, and it also could be everything.

    It sounds like imprisonment, slavery, or maybe just pure unhappiness. Point blank, it's something miserable.

    It could probably even be just what it's called, shadow box. Um. A shadow box dancer who is unhappy and wants out? But at the same time she knows what she has is good, and is wondering why she's ungrateful.

    Man. All these problems combined could simply, and straight forwardly just mean insecurities.

    I dont know. This has endless possibilites. It's scaring me.

    Which is good for you, and bad for me, obviously.

    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by GiveMeTheGun | [ Reply to This ]
      THIs was really deep...this speaks volumes to me about drug abuse and just physical abuse in genral...this write was really entracing for some reason...definatly a favorite...though I can't really explain what it is that I like about it the most...maybe it's just the place it took the reader to. keep writing.
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      I read this a couple of times over and I really like your style and wording on this piece. To me it could have social implication or personal or both.
    I really liked, "With testimonies to courts and juries
    I hold contempt for fear and fury
    Wars they rage within my veins
    The blood it flows from day to day
    Moving on in body and spirit
    My mind remains in this cage
    Endless days tied and tattered
    Sleepless nights scarred and shattered
    Whatís the matter?"
    You have an original style and I appreciate that too!
    Hope all is well!
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a deep poem
    If I didnt know better I would swear you where writing this about an addict who has become homeless
    I really enjoyed reading this sad write
    It sends a message to others to not mess with Drugs
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I read this over & over, because it's the first great piece that I've read since I joined this site.
    You probably already know this, but your words are very powerful...
    "Wailing and gnashing of teeth"- sounds primative, trapped, dysfunctional as a human being.

    I don't really have anything to critique you on, because nothing distracted me from start to end.

    And...on the white space...does it mean anything? If it doesn't then, yeah, that bothered me a little....more to scroll down, you know? Hehe.

    | Posted on 2006-07-23 00:00:00 | by ScarlettFever | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]