Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rest in Peacedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shahan
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 112/132/38
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 862
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 536



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRest in Peacedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I was not supposed to wake up
    Good dreams
    Bad dreams
    Sweet or sour dreams,
    I don't care!
    I just like to dream.

    Somewhere still though
    The sun kisses the shade
    All my memories stand beside me,
    "Good bye, my friend,
    You can live without me."

    I had to wake up
    With all the panic
    I searched my merries.
    Good ones,
    Bad ones,
    Sweet or sour ones.
    I don't care!
    They are all gone.




    Submitted on 2005-12-15 15:02:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      well i felt something ur waking up and sayying goodbye to ur dreams
    good ones bad ones whtever
    good poem

    ill quote langston hughs here

    "Hold fast to dreams
    for if dreams die
    life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly"


    Darkness of the Grim Draco
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      I do not mean to be harsh, but I felt nothing while reading this. poetry should bring out an emotion out of the reader. It sounded a little childish. you should try stronger words. Bad and Good sound so common. This is just my opinion. if you want try it over and tell me so i can read it again.

    PinkFairy
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by PinkFairy | [ Reply to This ]
      You can do much better i believe. Try to describe these things in a new and original way that will touch the heart of the reader.
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    84591

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry