Searching
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Description:
Searching
My eyes roll back in my head I relax completely I search everywhere Yet I know not for what I search I feel something It wants to come out But I don’t know how to get it; I can’t find where it is It’s there but I don’t know where A blinding yellow light stings my eyes My head starts to cloud I don’t want to leave but I know I must I let go, keeping my eyes closed The connection lost And what I am searching for still hidden An energy, rage, runs all through me A frusterating longing created I want to find what it is I know I can do it But I have to know how But I don’t know where to learn My words don’t make sense My thoughts muddled How do I fix it? What are the magic words? I’ve gotten this far Gotten to the point where I can find it Now I’ve been brought to a halt Not knowing how to grasp this I force my breath out I feel it; so close to being found Maybe if I cried it could escape through my tears But I don’t know how Is there something I'm doing wrong? What should I be doing that I'm not? It’s all too much I feel as if I'm losing my mind My eyes roll back once more I repeat my actions and feelings of before But I’m not any closer to finding it I beg, plead, hope, scream But no one hears; no one can help It’s me and me alone that can overcome this Whatever this is... I have to do this by myself. Life is a game Only the weak and blind make it through easy The skilled and strong fight through the whole thing Gathering knowledge from every battle Sifting through all the emotions, helping the blind and weak Words cannot describe my feeling Poking and tormenting my mind Poisioning and tempting my body Pressuring and tearing my soul Please someone be my companion Someone pick me up when I fall Someone hold me when I’m scared Please...someone...anyone My eyes roll back in my head It seems for the millionth time And it all repeats; just like before Yet I'm still searching, searching for that mystical something |
Submitted on 2005-12-15 18:03:19 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| My eyes roll back in my head I relax completely I search everywhere Yet I know not for what I search I feel something It wants to come out But I don’t know how to get it; I can’t find where it is It’s there but I don’t know where A blinding yellow light stings my eyes My head starts to cloud I don’t want to leave but I know I must I let go, keeping my eyes closed The connection lost And what I am searching for still hidden An energy, rage, runs all through me A frusterating longing created I want to find what it is I know I can do it But I have to know how But I don’t know where to learn My words don’t make sense My thoughts muddled How do I fix it? What are the magic words? I’ve gotten this far Gotten to the point where I can find it Now I’ve been brought to a halt Not knowing how to grasp this I force my breath out I feel it; so close to being found Maybe if I cried it could escape through my tears But I don’t know how Is there something I'm doing wrong? What should I be doing that I'm not? It’s all too much I feel as if I'm losing my mind My eyes roll back once more I repeat my actions and feelings of before But I’m not any closer to finding it I beg, plead, hope, scream But no one hears; no one can help It’s me and me alone that can overcome this Whatever this is... I have to do this by myself. Life is a game Only the weak and blind make it through easy The skilled and strong fight through the whole thing Gathering knowledge from every battle Sifting through all the emotions, helping the blind and weak Words cannot describe my feeling Poking and tormenting my mind Poisioning and tempting my body Pressuring and tearing my soul Please someone be my companion Someone pick me up when I fall Someone hold me when I’m scared Please...someone...anyone My eyes roll back in my head It seems for the millionth time And it all repeats; just like before Yet I'm still searching, searching for that mystical something I do somehow see the point of the repetitiveness and the redundancy of the text, but it just get to much, to thick. The circular motion of the text works very well in giving this ‘search’ an impossible perspective, but my point is that we do not need to go through it four times to get the point. In other words: You need to condense this. It is cluttered with meaningless questions (and not in a contributing sense!). There is an ironical modern feel to this text. It is said, “search and you shall find”, but somehow a valued practical side of this point is lost upon us. We do not wake up in the morning, walking around the house, looking in the furniture’s, and when someone asks us: “what are you looking for?” we go: “I don’t know, I’m just looking!” By searching in this manner we are bound to not finding what we are looking for, as we make nothing into a something, which is lost. But all the way NOTHING was lost to begin with. This inwards journey of that something (read: nothing), is in this piece described very well, although I still feel it much to long and tedious. And a couple of notes on the content of the poem: “Life is a game Only the weak and blind make it through easy The skilled and strong fight through the whole thing Gathering knowledge from every battle Sifting through all the emotions, helping the blind and weak” You spring this on us out of nowhere. It gives absolutely nothing extra to the text, and is completely out of context. It only serves as a glorification of the ‘I’ in the text, as someone who is ‘skilled and strong’. It made me laugh though, but I do not think that was your intention. All in all just cut that stanza, and stay with your point. “I’ve gotten this far Gotten to the point where I can find it Now I’ve been brought to a halt Not knowing how to grasp this” I am not sure if this is good or bad! It somehow holds the key to the illusion of actually getting somewhere in the quest for this ‘something’. On the other hand it is in grave contrast to the form of the text, as it implies a forward/linear development in the search. If you mean this as an ironical remark on the search, you might make it more explicit, and if you meant it more literally as actually getting anywhere with the search, it should just be cut out, as the search is going nowhere. There is a lot of tormenting, screaming, muddled, frustrating etc. in the piece. You really need to go through this again and clean up all the redundancy that does not contribute to the point of this being an never ending quest for nothing. As soon as you have made it clear once, you need not do it over and over again. Also consider what role the ‘outside world’ has to play in all this. It is somehow obscured by the lack of focus in the parts where the ‘I’ turns for help outside him-/herself. Should the outside world be the savior that can end the miserable state of searching, or is it just rhetorical (if so should it not just be removed completely?). Well thanks for the write All best -tZar | Posted on 2008-01-28 00:00:00 | by tZar | [ Reply to This ] | very good...i loved this | Life is a game Only the weak and blind make it through easy The skilled and strong fight through the whole thing Gathering knowledge from every battle Sifting through all the emotions, helping the blind and weak So very true...i have been through those moments as well..."never knowings like knowing too much"-rasputina, don't know that seemed appropriate for this. Any who very good write ~peace~ | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by cannibal | [ Reply to This ] | i really like this write! i know what it feels like to try to find something and be nearly there, then you can't find it... lol it's really frustrating. | the flow is really kinda neat and the emphasis on 'my eyes roll back in my head' is really great. write on! | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by LoneWolf | [ Reply to This ] | Look deep at the beauty of the earth and trust me you will find your Beautiful something | One cannot help seeing the Love and Beauty in nature when they look deep at its beauty For me I go to a park and Just stare at the sky for awhile and then I look all around and become one with nature It is a beautiful feeling Remain Positive You are much too good of a person to only see the negativity in such a positive Life God Bless Your Friend Ron And I want you to know I am truly honered and Touched by you adding so many of my poems to your favorites I am glad Elite Skills has brought us together as friends Ron | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] | Hey Moira, Awesome write, I mean phenomenal. so yeah first off, great job I don't even know how to describe it, it's like you're saying you want love but not really. You know you have to go it alone but you don't want to at the same time. Believe me I feel this way too, I just have Mieko... So yeah, great write and stuff and I hope to talk to you soon. THNX |  - Nammy | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ] | i liked the way that you used your mind, soul, and your body, that shows feeling truthfulness, but when you said tormentin and torturing, that is basicly the same thing, i would of used another word, one that was not so close to the other, i liked the way you siad how your eyes rolled back in your head, i gathered that it was like a girl trying to find a lost love or something that she knew was there she knew what it was but still not completley sure. i loved it, good work | | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by in_a_trap | [ Reply to This ] | |
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