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    dots Submission Name: So Saddots

    Author: Jerilynn
    ASL Info:    59, woman, U.S.A.
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 68/66/20
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1029
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 459

       Just some thoughts about taking someone for granted.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSo Saddots

    Friends once
    Of each other
    And approving.

    Now what?
    Two pillows
    On the same bed
    Toward the edge.

    No more struggling
    For us.

    The one is cut
    A slice is missing
    Canít bring back
    What is not recognized
    As lost.

    Wonít look
    For things that
    No longer
    Seem to matter.
    So sad.

    Submitted on 2005-12-15 19:04:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I thought this was very meaingful, emotional and very good. Giving an insight into how many relationships really are - well done.
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      My, I'm hoping this is not personally inspired, but it is watched every day in every avenue of life, all too common.
    Expressed quite well, and I do believe written flawlessly as far as I read, but I miss my own mistakes let alone others.
    Many thanks for you writing, and I'll promise to visit again!
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      it seems a little off...and doesn't really make sense. Maybe if you had more words in it?...
    there doesn't seem to be any rythm or syntax at all to it...so its just..there. But hey if it makes sense to you i guess thats all that counts.
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Catylyx | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a nice piece. I think the style you used created a sense of lost and confusion. You gave the reader very few details about the love gone wrong, but you did tell what the aftermath was like as if it was a memory flash of sorts. Everyone has their own style. You have a unique one. Welcome to Eliteskills. Take care.

    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]

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