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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Awake the Sleeperdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jerilynn
    ASL Info:    59, woman, U.S.A.
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 68/66/20
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1472
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 700



    Description:
       Some people seem never to know what is going on, or care,


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAwake the Sleeperdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Through the land
    There is none so fair.
    Where she steps,
    Flowers bloom.
    A heady scent,
    An aura of perfume
    Remains in the air,
    To tantalize
    And tease.
    Yet unaware,
    She does not care.
    Eyes of crystalline blue
    Clear as a mountain lake,
    Pierce right through
    Yearning hearts.
    She moves like clouds
    In a summer sky.
    She has no clue
    Of her affect on you
    Her sleep, free from dreams,
    Her days without want,
    She remains serene,
    Untouched, drifting
    Unaffected by the issues of life.
    She is free
    From fear and hope.




    Submitted on 2005-12-15 20:01:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Lets do the math, the number of people that can speak since language was formed, divided by the amount of cute sayings, equals a lot of repeated clichés!
    WHO CARES
    USE them and be free, I loathe the cliché haters and wish them mud in the eye, anything too hot to handle, and sticks and stones that really can break bones. HA!
    Awaken thou which sleepest, and wipst thy tears from those who cry, for they just missed some of the best global warming in centuries!
    This was really right on, how many sleep with the eyes wide open like the world can not be seen. It just might take a very loud bugle to stir this crowd!
    Great write, many well wishes for you,
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      Cliche's don't really matter too much. It is what you write that is important. Keep writing what you feel. Again, this was very insightful and good.
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this alot. It shows that we are effected by others as they are to us, but our indifference towards one another blinds us to this fact. Very good imagery. A nice and steady flow. A new spin on a topic that is often written about. Good job.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      at first read of this write you gfet the impression that she is loved and love is returned but once you have read the whole poem it seems like the girl is an admired and loved but she pays the people no mid=nd whatsoever. Great write keep up the good work.

    Love, Serinity Blade
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ]
      I spotted a couple of cliché's but if you use one in a clever enough way you can get away with it. It is hard to come up with an original way to breath new life into a cliché'! but i like the general idea you are trying to convey.
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]


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    84624

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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