Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Enemydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Indigo Kid
    ASL Info:    33/f/everywhere
    Elite Ratio:    3.73 - 428/438/115
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 1088
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 516



    Description:
       no explaination, not my best but right now just need a little therapy...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Enemydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The strong sun so quickly turns frail
    As the cruel and biting cloudiness
    Once again covers our lives in that
    One moment of eternity in Silence

    Silence and I battling as gladiators
    For your attentions and trying
    To be more attractive then the other
    As two catty women baring heels and nails
    In a bar room at the liquored midnight hour

    She knows why things have been so cruel
    and I am jealous of her witching ways.





    Submitted on 2005-12-15 20:54:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree this is an interesting write
    But I can tell by this write that something did distract the origanel intent of this one
    Dont get me wrong its not a bad write
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      eh, not one of my favorites, but it was a nice read. There is no doubt to me that it is an original thought, well, at least your descriptions. Anyway, if therapy is what you wanted from this, then i hope you got it.
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Mercy December | [ Reply to This ]
      hm well it was good. It seems to me like you were distrancted or something when you wrote this. The begining seems to be about something difforent. But i do like it.

    "Silence and I battling as gladiators
    For your attentions and trying
    To be more attractive then the other
    As two catty women baring heels and nails
    In a bar room at the liquored midnight hour"

    That was really great. It kind of reminds me of animals fighting to win a mate heheh. But yes good write
    ~peace~
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by cannibal | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    84627

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry