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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Deep Welldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aruemos
    ASL Info:    20/M/StL
    Elite Ratio:    7.24 - 102/79/40
    Words: 342
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 352
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2056



    Description:
       The format is f-ed up I know. This one was done with a day and a half of on/off writing. Hope you like. Please comment. Sorry about misspelling


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeep Welldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Look into it, my calm yet curious self.
    Look straight down into yet another deep dark well.
    Have looked down some many other corrupted and twisted pathways.
    Yet some are clean, some are pure, and to those one remains true to this day.
    This well is new, and well maintained.
    Reminding of child watching another man draw some from this one still.
    At the bottom there could be many things.
    There is only one way to find out and it is a path one seldom chooses to take.
    Jump and feel the surge of blood, of wind, of long trapped air.
    Let not this feel dull your wit or sight.
    Quickly they pass the layers of the mortar and brick, from clay red, to faded whitewash, to broken lines of black.
    These warm bricks they wrap around you and make you feel at home.
    Every layer has its own sense; a smell, a feel, a taste
    The first few mineral and foundation, next few feel like small sharp sticks, then taste calming chammolie and hints of crushed pepermint leaves. A rush of sage, sprig of thyme.
    And then the texture of mud consumes smooth like silk.
    Sliding in like quicksand till it comes up just past one's soul.
    It leaves as soon as it came and the descent quickens.
    <smack>
    A wooden barricade bars the way. Lay there still and hear the timbers moan and crack.
    <snap>
    Falling one more time, the surge is back
    your stomach in your neck.
    Walls close in further and further,
    tighter and tighter.
    <splash>
    Oh how lucky one could be to find life sustaining fluid in the bottom of a pit.
    Float in the blue cool pool.
    Feel the cobblestone all round.
    Know there is only one way out.
    Yell for the bucket only to find it no longer does reach.
    Don't fret this is now a happy place with sunlight peering down.
    Just hope the person to whom this well belongs is now looking up from yours.
    And pray the well never dries out.




    Submitted on 2005-12-15 21:15:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      This was a very well writen poem and I liked it. I hope you write more poems here soon. Keep it up.



    Jessica
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by jslbabygirl101 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ireally enjoyed this write
    To me you were refering to a person who has decided to give up his old life filled with negativity to embark on a new journey with a new life including the positives
    i really like the idea of a well filled with water which is lifes blood
    You used that idea beautifully
    This write was very creative
    I enjoyed this
    God Bless
    Ron

    And Thank You for adding Healing Orbs Of Water to your favorites I am honered
    If you want to talk more just pm me or leave a comment
    I will definately respond
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this, alot.
    I think that you put alot of creativity & depth into it.
    You challenged your reader to think & you have us very beautiful discriptions to help us.

    I love the way that you wrote it.
    I think that it really kept my interest- wondering what was next.
    What would the end hold?
    The end was what really left you thinking, left you to wonder about all that you had said before.
    Very cool, how that one line changes everything.

    I have nothing to offer you other then a well done.
    You did an amazing job.
    Take care
    ~jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]


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