This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: Fraser
ASL Info:    26
Elite Ratio:    2.43 - 30 /55 /35
Words: 122
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1211
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 715


I wrote this poem thinking about the sun and how powerful it is. Just how it awakens us and provides the earth with nutrients. We are usually depressed without it. Also i thought about appreciation and how we rush through our day and don't take time to see and feel our surroundings.


The firey orb rises from the earth
It showers me with warmth and goodness
to be without it would leave me cold
the feelings i get from just a ray on my shoulder
it makes me laugh, my heart jumps a beat
it awakens all creatures
it sets life into motion
as if by watch everything follows its lead
the flowers stand up and salute the day
a deer raises its head from the cool pond
trees, bushs and shrubs all are still for the time
Brothers and Sisters scurry to catch up with their heavy watchs
the day has its own mind
slow down i say
appreciate the dawn
call off your racing hearts
breathe in the hour

Submitted on 2005-12-16 09:42:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I think you could put more layers to this piece actually. You have explored a couple of facets, but i think you could come up with even more.
| Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?