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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Never Enoughdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: tmullins
    ASL Info:    37/F/Mo
    Elite Ratio:    4.5 - 127/149/41
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 761
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 587



    Description:
       I just realized last night while my daughter was sitting on me watching TV, that I say these words so often! I hope they stick to her forever!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNever Enoughdots
    -------------------------------------------


    How many times a day,
    while in my lap you lay,
    do I look at you and say
    "You're Beautiful"

    How many times a day,
    while in your room at play,
    do I look at you and say
    "You're so smart"

    How many times a day,
    while crying to get your way,
    do I look at you and say
    "I love you"

    How many times a day,
    while talking to God this way,
    do I look to heaven and say
    "Thank You"

    I can never say it enough.




    Submitted on 2005-12-16 10:10:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      OooooKay. You wanted me to look at another of your poems, after I had critiqued "Forgotten Strangers". I also looked at "Moving", and while both and this are clearer in meaning, they are poorer poetically. This rhymes, and its ideas and style are more graceful than "Moving", but neither soars. "Strangers" soared, but was indeciperable. Now, if you could just get these two halves of yours - the spontaneous artist and visionary, and the conventional, sentimental half, you would be whole - and both you and your writing would be set free.
    But then again, true freedom is kinda scary, isn't it?
    fred
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by fredmelden | [ Reply to This ]
      Positive reinforcement! Yeah! This is a beautiful piece. One any mother can connect to personally. I love the way you have repeated "How many times a day".

    Usually repetition detracts from a piece, but in this one- where it literally is how many times a day on bothe the good and the bad- it works perfectly.

    I have nothing to suggest for improvement, just going to favorite this piece and say great job!

    Chell
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      Now here is something to cheer about! This is truely wonderful, and one could never say these too many times to anyone, let alone a sweet innocent tender product of our love. Shout it from the roof tops, and say it in your home. Bravo's will never bring enough praise to this.
    Thank you for this refreshing piece.
    It so beats all the other posts I've read in the last several days. Not unique, not overpowering with complicated ideas, just love!
    What could be better?
    Maybe a kiss via the net XOXOXO's for beingso sweet
    Later
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww! Such a lovely poem. You sound like a wonderful mom, so loving and kind. Children really need this kind of reinforcement of their qualities and a positive response from their parents. It does indeed leave a lifelong impression on them and their self esteem. You are very fortunate to have her as well and your appreciation is very evident with your words in this poem. This is very sweet and touching! Well written and expressed as only a mom could! Lovely job. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      well it ios very sweet i like it ... i would tell this to my child when i get one ... i like the structure here it is very simple but repetitive in wording .. so i guess it is very good then ..
    well i hope you keep writing and hear from you soon ...
    peace and love !
    victor!
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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