Homesick Runaway by gavinspikenard

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Submission Name: Homesick Runaway dots

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Author:	gavinspikenard
ASL Info:	20-something/m/USA
Elite Ratio:	2.85 - 273/334/104
Words:	59

Class/Type:	Poetry/Longing
Total Views:	492
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	393

Description:
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Homesick Runaway dots

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Gone for a total of 400 days
The pain, the dread, the dismay in my head
Independance replaced by regret
No longer in love with the freedom once craved
Too proud to return, too bitter to contact,
yet so badly needing the grace of one's company

Maybe...they would take me back...

Family...
...could they still be mine?

Submitted on 2005-12-16 10:34:41 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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3: meh!
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||| Comments |||
this reminds me of a lot of things when i read it...
it reminds me of the prodigal son from the parables in the bible but it also reminds me a lot of myself.

i have just been travelling for 10 months.
in that time i was in ethiopia for 6 months and europe for 6 weeks and the US for 2 and a half months and i loved it... absolutely loved it
now... i didnt miss my family at all really... i didnt have time to miss them but i know the agony of the narrative voice in this piece... see... i was so scared about coming home... about seeing my family again... knowing that i had changed so much and that they had prolly changed too and that what i had always known to be my role in my family wasnt mine anymore and i had no idea what i was gonna be coming home to... whether i would find a place in my family or not... it was a really scary time... i didnt sleep for 3 days before i left the US i was that scared.

i like in this how you have the 400days thing...
its so purposeful you know... like hes been counting the days and im sure initially it was counting the days of freedom from the oppression that was home but then leading up to this point of questioning the possibility of going home im sure the counting became more burdensome...
when the fun and magic ran out and wore off what was there left...?
adn i could throw round clichés like the grass is always greener or you dont know what you got til its gone but we all know that anyways...

pride is what destroys us... its what makes us do things we know we shouldnt or not do things we know we should... i dont think this piece would be as powerful if you had have left the element of pride out...

it was the need for grace that made me smile...
grace... theres something about knowing we need grace and recieving grace and also giving it that makes me realise what life is all about somehow... it makes me sad that there are so many people unwilling to give grace but im so greatful that there have been people in my life willing to give some to me...

this is a very well constructed and beautifully messaged piece.
| Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
This is a great poem, and the imagery created to the reader is wonderful. I love the flow of the poem. The only thing is that i would make it a bit longer, other then that it's wonderful.
| Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]

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