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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Deep Insidedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: RyukiTZR
    ASL Info:    14/F/-
    Elite Ratio:    3.94 - 133/130/44
    Words: 185
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 906
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1305



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeep Insidedots
    -------------------------------------------


    You've left all those broken promises,
    Yet keep telling me you've there for me.
    Wanting me for the benefits,
    Leaving for a long time once done.
    And just let me be.

    Then you're back again,
    To break me over and over again.

    Deep inside,
    Instead of smiling,
    I'm crying.

    Instead of standing firm,
    I'm wavering.

    Since I've been waiting,
    I'm slipping away.

    I'm lonely,
    Yet don't wanna lose to loneliness.

    Sucking my pain,
    But now I'm just all numb.

    I want to cry,
    But tears never seem to fall at the right time.

    Deep inside,
    I may be living,
    But I wish I were DEAD.

    You've left all those broken promises,
    Yet keep telling me you've there for me.
    Wanting me for the benefits,
    Leaving for a long time once done,
    And just let me be.

    Then you're back again,
    To break me over and over again.

    But its already enough.
    Yea, I admit, I'm not that tough.
    And I faltering by every passing second,
    Yes, my life, I would like it to end.




    Submitted on 2005-12-16 11:05:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      wonerful piece of work there very deep and very emotional and very full of vivid images gets one thinking and travels to where ur images take him/her .. wonerful piece of work although i prefer less dark .. but wonerful job , keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the repetition...
    Then you're back again,
    To break me over and over again.
    I love the "instead of ... I'm ..." lines... I thin it really represents being torn between deciding to "be with" someone again... If it's worth possibly going through what occured before.
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by musaXX | [ Reply to This ]
      this was very good and well presented and had a nice rythem and flowed through the stansas
    great write and enjoyable read
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem, but I believe that using "Deep Inside" over and over again some what ruines the flow of the poem. The use of rhyuming words is wonderful and the imagery is perfect.
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]


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