[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Bleachdots

    Author: thetwilight
    ASL Info:    23/F/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.4 - 81/68/15
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 878
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1339

       Thoughts? Feelings?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The earth grew silent
    Stopped spinning
    Stopped moving
    To listen
    To the bones in this
    Old house

    She’s dropping the tapes
    Down the cracks in the
    Old floors.

    Lost transmitions
    Lost screams
    Lost hours


    I swear…
    I just heard
    The Moon

    I swear…
    I just heard…


    It’s on those tapes…

    Bury the evidence
    Bury the shame

    Suicide letters
    In the walls
    With eyes
    Burning Awake
    While trapped
    In the fake
    Warmth of bed.

    He’s asleep…
    He can’t watch you
    Imprint your shadow
    Into this Hell
    With a desperation

    So quiet…

    It wakes the neighbors
    From their dreams into
    Violent nightmares.

    He sleeps.

    And even if she leaves
    One day
    With or without her body…
    With or without her dignity…

    The bathrooms will always smell
    Like bleach.

    Submitted on 2005-12-16 17:41:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very interesting prose. As a read it, differnt imagries popped into my head in a dizzying speed. I think my inerptation is probably much different than what you had in mind when you wrote it, but I like the flow of the words at how they took on their own life in the rythem of the piece. Nicely done ^_^
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by RumnMoxie | [ Reply to This ]
      This is hard to understand, but i like the feeling it gives off, and because it goes with the song i'm listening too. so it's all good. I love this peom, i'm not to sure what the meaning is, i'll probally spend minutes reading it over and over. I'm guessing the meaning is...really random poem...but the meaning is a girl and she's done something, like something bad, or she's trying to get rid of memories, by burying it. then...i'm lost. comment me back on the meaning, i feel like i made a bad attempt at the meaning at all. please
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by rAbit | [ Reply to This ]
      Your writing is quite erm opaque to me, I have the damndest time trying to figure it out.
    I have my ideas about what this is about, but if you could shed some light that would be great. You really create a disturbing air with this so if that's what you were going for well done.

    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Vastmark | [ Reply to This ]
      I'd say that to me it felt bleak, but I think bleak doesn't even start to cover it...I started off wondering if you had ever written any songs for the Pixies, then ended questioning life and why we all bother. Thanks...(I think)
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Ben Gunn | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]