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    dots Submission Name: Sober Rocksdots

    Author: Splent
    ASL Info:    22/M/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 10/11/5
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 672
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 832

       This is in retaliation to a poem written by my exgirlfriend called "Wasted Jules". Hence the title... Anyways, her poem basically was bashing me and my mom the whole time... it was really harsh.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSober Rocksdots

    It was a sobering instant
    When I knew you werenít for me
    But you thought I was for you
    Through rose colored glasses
    I viewed you
    And skewed you
    I thought I knew you

    But I was smothered to death
    By games that were played
    The ďI donít knowsĒ and crying and charades

    Please donít tease me with this talk of disease;
    These wheezes donít go unheeded
    However conceived or conceited

    Within this interplanetary space
    I know I can efface and replace
    The two-faced disgrace
    Touching base
    Conceding to the Leader of the human race
    He takes what I was bleeding and heals me

    And through all this attack
    Itís been a breath of fresh air
    To have my life back.

    Submitted on 2005-12-16 20:25:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very awesome, I loved your rhyme scheme. very good. The whole jist of the poem is just awesome. And I loved the end, with the fresh breath of air. Very creative, I really enjoyed it. Like rabit says, I too, love everything about this. Keep it up.

    | Posted on 2005-12-18 00:00:00 | by dreamer37517 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, Reminds me of how i felt for someone sometime back. it's a real big [censored] you. This poem is what i wish i could have said,
    The way you describe the way you thought she was the way you knew her...but she ended up a different way. and two faced. and for the sobering instant, meaning the little sad moment that you took to notice her bad ways...
    I love everything about this write...
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by rAbit | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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