Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: greydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet sorenity
    ASL Info:    24/f/ Ga
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 211/221/58
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 798
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 580



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsgreydots
    -------------------------------------------


    i have words to say
    yet when i try to speak nothing comes out
    i dreadthe day
    all i can do is shout
    my emotions are repressed
    this is the cause to all my stress
    it is this that forces me to choke
    and drives me to smoke

    i hate the cause but love the feeling
    its my life this "god" is steeling
    no one to blame but me
    life is the ride and death is the fee

    i speak yet no one listens
    my eyes nolonger glisten
    it is a horible sight
    they burn in the night




    Submitted on 2005-12-17 10:20:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I loved the whole second stanza the most of all of the poem, it just stands out the most. The first stanza really gains all of the interest, this was written well, I wanted to keep reading.

    COdEE
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by vanhokinshtyl | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the last stanza, this is almost like some life stories i know aswell. great format and discription. although there's just sometimes no way to get out untill someone carries you from that hole your in.

    Tryst
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by Trystam | [ Reply to This ]
      hate the cause but love the feeling
    its my life this "god" is steeling
    no one to blame but me
    life is the ride and death is the fee

    these were my favorite lines. very good metaphor. i liked this write. i could feel the pain in the poem. is the smoke why u called this poem "grey"
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    84791

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    prison written by ShyOne
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry