Only a nightmare by bambi144

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Submission Name: Only a nightmare dots

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Author:	bambi144
ASL Info:	17/F/UK
Elite Ratio:	3.78 - 132/109/31
Words:	142

Class/Type:	Poetry/Dark
Total Views:	197
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	989

Description:
one of my more morbid poems..but my favourite non the less! i dedicate it to Ben gunn......not becauses he's the love of my life..but because he wanted to see more of my stuff!

Only a nightmare dots

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Darkness is a blanket wrapping me up.
Engulfing me.
Smothering me.
The darkness creeps up.
I watch it.
Inevitable.
Unstoppable.

I fall into its frozen calmness.
That eerie cold stillness seeping deep into my soul.
Replacing happiness with scorn.
Positive with negative
Love with hate.

Locking the positives into a box.
Like Pandora.

I struggle,
Writhe,
And strike out.
The darkness is drowning me, in the dark shadow of a vast lake.

I can’t stop it.

I am exhausted.
Can’t fight any longer.
Let it take me.

I wake, alive and fresh.
The world carries on.
The light has saved me.
Let out hope.
Love.

The sun welcomes me back.
Glad I am still here.
I embrace it.
It was all only a dream.

Only a nightmare.

Submitted on 2005-12-17 11:12:50 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  err. hello.

Engulfing me.
Smothering me.
-
-
Inevitable.
-

i think you can use more poetic words rather than these, or it can be better if you will use more idioms and figures of speech. but besides that...all i can say is you're a good poet. :)

ahaha. at least your poem is not all about emotions...others make it too emo that it can iritate the reader. yours is cool! ehehe. keep it up!
| Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by eixia | [ Reply to This ]
  i really likr this it inspires me to write more dark poems i love how you drag us into the darkness with you if only i still had nightmares they were taken when they notest i loved them and to be terrofide is like makeing love so i love this poem.. keep on going into the dark!

Shygirl
'
Over and Out
| Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by shygirl | [ Reply to This ]
  i rote a poem kinda like this b4 its called the dark

relax let the darkness engulf u its quite soothing
this is a coo poem i liked it

Queen Darkness of the Grim Draco
| Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
  nightmare i must admit i like, there's was alot of great metaphores that i loved as well.

"The darkness is drowning me, in the dark shadow of a vast lake. "

great discription though, and great job

~Tryst
| Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by Trystam | [ Reply to This ]

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