Through The Telescope by JoKing

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Submission Name: Through The Telescope dots

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Author:	JoKing
Elite Ratio:	5.72 - 77/101/36
Words:	69

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	268
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	415

Description:
I did a physics module and it inspired this...
Any comments welcome. Thanks.

Through The Telescope dots

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His image rotates like the world on its axis;
Searing, it burns harder into the iris.
Blurry visions of fallen eyelashes and wishes
Seep into my hand, and I crush them with a fist.
Unforgettable stars of sound collide in his voice
And my own, evaporates inside of me.
Moving closer to him is relative to moving away
And all that is left, is the shift to red.

Submitted on 2005-12-17 13:35:21 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I enjoyed this a lot.
Its amazing what inspires you, what sparks your imagination, thoughts & memories.

Each line really brought something new to think about, to ponder. Your language is great, the way you convey this scene & the feelings.
The back & forth movement of the poem made it interesting, very captivating.

Really well done, I enjoyed it very much.
you put a lot into very little words.
take care
~jennifer
| Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
  Who would have thought physics could ignite such passionately conflicted emotions as this love/hate, attraction/repulsion piece you've written (almost voyeuristically, I might add, though not necessarily with pleasure). This appears to be a very frustrating scenario, considering you ball your fists at his approach and repel one another like similarly charged magnetic poles. The language you've chosen for this write is not only unique, but impressive. Very nicely done; quite a study of bodies in motion. Take care. Bill.
| Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  The guidelines say to not only give compliments...well, I am stumped because I can NOT think of anything to pick apart with this piece. I felt it word for word and have been feeling something just like this ALL DAY after a brief encounter with someone I obviously have a crush on , so reading this was a very Karmic experience ! :) The descriptions are unique and strongly flow musically. It seems original , yet at the same time so familiar . My interpretation of it is that you are expressing how there is a person who you are reluctantly enthralled with . Regardless, I have it as one of my faves as I like it the way I interepret it. Thanks ! :)
| Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by BLee | [ Reply to This ]

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