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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Burning Rosedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Podenco del infierno
    ASL Info:    19/M/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 205/195/38
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 870
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 724



    Description:
       This was written about how...detrimental anger from people could be...kinda...it breaks us down inside...and can ultimatly do so on the outside....anyways...think of it what you will.


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    dotsBurning Rosedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Mother,
    Must you yell?
    Your screams,
    Your cruel words,
    Your anger is like fire.
    A fire to the garden...
    Burning the flowers.
    Mother,
    Look at me.
    Look at this beautiful rose.
    Red with passion,
    Thorned with anger.
    Hidden behind beauty,
    Behind peace...lies hate.
    And your fire,
    Singes its petals.
    Mother,
    Look at this rose.
    The fire spreads...
    Look at it burn.
    Watch it wilt...
    Watch it slowly...
    Die.
    Watch it turn to ash...
    Dust to the earth.
    Into nothing.
    Mother,
    Your fire,
    Has killed the rose...
    And I was that rose.




    Submitted on 2005-12-17 14:51:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was an completely creative and awesome poem! You obviously are sick of your mother always putting you down. And i'm sorry for that...but things eventually will look up for you, if you just let them. Okay, back to the poem, I like how you used the rose to represent you. A very creative. I feel like i've said creative a million times, lol. ANYWAY...here's my fave part:

    Look at this beautiful rose.
    Red with passion,
    Thorned with anger.
    Hidden behind beauty,
    Behind peace...lies hate.
    And your fire,
    Singes its petals.

    It's just so intense! I really love this piece. And it looks like this got alot of attention as well! Great write! I LOVE IT. i think i'll add it to my fave list...you'll have to see! hehe!

    Kim~
    | Posted on 2006-01-01 00:00:00 | by _NowOrNever_ | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very good poem. The metaphor you use here is great and your words are very powerful. I think you have done a really good job with expression in this one. You capture the beauty of the rose, yet despite its strong appearance, remains delicate, just like we are! Your words are well written and expressed! Hope you are doing well Nathan! Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      This write really saddens me
    I believe you were bringing out how much pain and suffering one gets from hurtful anger and rejection
    What people really really nedd to undertsand is words stay with people and they sometimes never go away
    Put quite simply
    Think Before Ypu Speak
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      It's difficult to think of this as a rant or vent poem because it possesses too much instructional value and piercing honesty to be lumped into that category. This feels more like an intervention/confrontation, with the sole purpose of coming to terms with the thoughtless attitudes that undermine familial relationships. On my end, the point is well taken. Let's hope it's recieved as openly at your end. Nicely done. Wish you the best. Bill.
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! THis was just merciless and utterly forceful. It just forced - It had a dark, determined voice, which totally grabs the reader's attention and won't let go until the very end. I can't describe the power this poem has, except that it is one to be reckoned with. The image of a dying rose, just is burned into the readers brain. It is so vivid and sad that it will not be forgotten easily. Just I dunno what to say except that this piece has a life of its own. It is tormented and dark. This is easily one of the best I've read on this site.
    Metal Heart74
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by Metal Heart74 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. Its an interesting concept. Mostly i understand and can relate to it completely! Good job! I love how you related yourself to the rose and how ones words can diminish everything you had set for yourself as good. Really good job! Looking forward to reading some more of yours.
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by rent_a_fairy | [ Reply to This ]
      that was a grrrrrreat poem. i didnt know that u had a promblem w/your mother?do i not know sumthing about you?is that even possible? lol. well this was grrrreat!keep up kid!
    | Posted on 2005-12-18 00:00:00 | by crazygothchika | [ Reply to This ]


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