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    dots Submission Name: broken cisterndots

    Author: jbb360
    ASL Info:    22.m.wa
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 25/36/12
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 511
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 494


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    dotsbroken cisterndots

    i poured the water in
    it fell out on the ground
    discoloring the dirt
    thats how ill be found
    i poured the water in
    hoping it would stay
    but it just created mud
    where there used to be clay
    i poured the water in
    knowing what would transpire
    it trickeled out the bottom
    and extinguished the fire
    i poured the water in
    with useless futility
    i poured the water in
    to what you ask? to me

    Submitted on 2005-12-18 03:48:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      interesting concept. I am still puzzled as to what the "water" represents it could be so many different things. Over all the flow was consistant and the concept was original. It didn't exactly speak to me personally I just couldn't "feel" it I geuss you could say. This was still a solid write so don't give up on it. I'm sure this will sing with passion for another person, don't doubt that.

    ~i am pieced together incomplete and empty~weepingprophet
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by weepingprophet | [ Reply to This ]

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