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    dots Submission Name: Tragic kingdomdots

    Author: cannibal
    ASL Info:    18/f/MO usa
    Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 47/47/15
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 807
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 697

       well this one is reeealllly old, was inspired when my bro and uncle went to prison. tell me what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTragic kingdomdots

    The raw reality churns,
    Like sticks of butter we melt in the
    Hot sun,
    We are yearning for a path we can't
    Inside smooth pail skin we are hallow,
    And my scales won't rip,
    Like gorgons we are equipped with the power
    Of death,
    To kill one another,
    Memories shoved in like prisoners behind bars,
    Inside their jail sells they blindly fallow,
    Population rises,
    Kill off more to survive it,
    As the temperature slowly drops
    We are frozen inside the things we call home,
    locked inside our damaged vessels, wanting freedom when we have
    more freedom then we can handle

    Submitted on 2005-12-19 01:18:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was quite a dark look at the human condition, Having freedom but unable to use it. the sense of being trapped within our smooth pail (pale) skin that also feels like scales that we can't break out of are good images. They give power to the peice.

    A few typos follow, hollow, cell

    Nice write

    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]

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