Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Speculative Existencedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dycrain
    ASL Info:    56/F/U.S.A.
    Elite Ratio:    7.33 - 51/54/19
    Words: 204
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 884
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 368



    Description:
       As man's life force is energy, and we all know that energy may change forms, but always exists, the question we all have is, what happens to our soul when our body dies?

    This poetry form is called Quizaine. Quizaine is an unrhymed fifteen syllable poem to be done in three lines. 7/5/3 syllable count for the three lines.
    The first line makes a statement. Line two and three ask a question relating to the first line's statement.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSpeculative Existencedots
    -------------------------------------------









    LIFE is one blink of GOD'S EYE

    Is LIFE energy?

    Fast or Slow?








    Submitted on 2005-12-19 05:57:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is very good. Your form here is very well done and you have asked a very deep and meaningful question, one which I dont think we will find the answer for in our lifetime anyway. It isnt easy to make such a thought provoking thought and question in a mere fifteen syllables but you certainly have done that with this one. Wish I had the answer. haha. Hope your holiday was all that you wanted it to be. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      nice, i like this. i never knew that such a form of writing existed, i would have thought this a bad haiku had i not read the description. this is nice, it brings a new style to eliteskills that i've never seen before and i hope that more people will use it. as for the quizaine itself- very well done, its perfect question leave's me mesmerized and wanting to know the same for myself. good, really good. though i dont agree with 'themime', i think its perfect and powerful as it is, it made me think about what i had just read and most writings dont do that for me.

    but i would use this instead of what you said, dont get me wrong, i liked it, im just experimenting with what i like:

    LIFE is one blink of GOD'S EYE

    Is LIFE energy?

    Fast or Slow?


    you said this, now think of this:

    LIFE is one blink of GOD'S EYE

    Is LIFE energy?

    Is it US?

    im just saying what i would say, your quizaine is perfect and there's no need to change it, i just thought I'd give my honest and truest comment on such a powerful piece. i like this style, i may very well use it myself one day. thank you for taking the time to write such a strong piece.

    ~Zach~
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by insphered soul | [ Reply to This ]
      The thing about this form of writing is that it leaves alot to your reader to finish the thought. Which is fine.

    But (as there always is a "but"), I feel like you haven't totally offered everything that you can to help take a reader to the next level. I feel like you peom description and your actual poem go in two different directions. and i find the description more interesting than the poem.

    Something else that bothered me were the words in all caps. In such a minimalist setting, capitals scream out at you. if you want to make those words you deem important stand out, just capitalize the first letter, like in the last line. Think about your word choice also. I love the opening statement because those words seemed very carefully put together.

    Overall I like the idea, but by changing your direction, maybe adjusting your words, you can make it more edgy and powerful.
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by themime | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    84965

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry