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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: If everdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: prittee1
    ASL Info:    16/f/aus
    Elite Ratio:    2.51 - 13/21/6
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 655
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 832



    Description:
       I don't really mind how you critisize my work... Just as long as it's constructive, not just plain rude!!! i dont really remember my emotional state when i wrote this. It was for my boyfriend of the time, and i was pretty happy during that period of my life so i guess my emotional state was..... IN LUUUUUUUURVE.... yeah


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIf everdots
    -------------------------------------------


    If ever there was a time,
    That I needed you,
    Itís now.
    I donít know how to tell you,
    I ask myself,
    How?

    If ever there was a time,
    When I wanted to see you,
    Itís soon.
    Iíd be glad to see you any day,
    Morning, night,
    Or noon.

    If ever there was a day,
    When I cried all I could,
    Itís today.
    Itís hard to stop myself,
    Itís hard to keep my feelings,
    At bay.

    If ever there was a place,
    That I wished you there,
    Itís here.
    To get rid of the worries,
    All the pain,
    And fear.

    If ever there was a person,
    That I loved,
    Could you guess who?
    For the rest of my life,
    Forever more,
    Iíll always love you.




    Submitted on 2005-12-19 06:36:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is sweet! and cute! i agree it is a common subject BUT i like reading them! i used to feel this way about a guy! y i dont anymore thats a diffrent story! goodjoB!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... that was great... i feel the same way bout this guy and so i can totally relate to wat ur say... it like u took my thoughts and wrote them down. great work. loved it
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by submarine | [ Reply to This ]
      This had amazing flow and was sweet to the bone. A great read. I found this very appealing with the emotion, passion, innocence and vulnerability that justs grabs you when you're reading it. Well done. I truly enjoyed it.

    Congrats,
    Jermaine.
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      It has great flow, rhyme, structure and content... you made this appealing to the reader. I enjoyed this write. keep up the good work

    peace always
    JJ
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by Sweethonesty | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a common subject but it never bores me. I enjoyed your rhymming pattern. It was quite original. I have a poem: I want, It's very old but i hope you read it.

    Peace
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by PinkFairy | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it its touching and sweet. If i had to make one critisism its that its maybe a tiny bit predictable in parts, but nothing major. Well done
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by edwardgalaxy | [ Reply to This ]


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