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Time to Think Again


Author: k.o.malley
ASL Info:    28/female/seattle
Elite Ratio:    3.77 - 50 /66 /30
Words: 77
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 697
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 454



Description:




Time to Think Again



Sitting long enough to think about what is happening inside of me.

Shedding tears for the body dying in front of me.

Remembering the person I thought I was suppose to be.

Writing down words that only a few will read.

Deciding what it is that I truly need.

Talking myself into being who I was meant to be.

Looking forward to the day when I can clearly see.




Submitted on 2005-12-19 07:14:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  The first part of this write left me with the impression of a cancer patient witnessing themselves slowly disintegrate as they prepare their final wishes to be made known after death. However, as it progressed it became more ambiguous, as if the vision you seek in the future has escaped you in the present (frankly, if any event should draw our lives into focus, it should be the sobering reality that death is near enough to whisper to us). I'd suggest either lengthening this piece or revising it. In any case, this is a powerful subject to tackle. Take care. Bill.
| Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  this was okay, but it could be more in depth and longer so the reader doesn't get bored or unhappy by the small amount of poem. but other than that i liked it. it was like a problem everyone has but it gets old. this could be better, maybe you should go back and redo some parts to what you think would be better?

~Zach~
| Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by insphered soul | [ Reply to This ]
  interesting how for your bars they are one liners and not 2. I found that interesting

Sitting long enough to think about what is happening inside of me.

(here I think it is either emotional or physical damage... nice way that every line has 2 meanings as well)

Shedding tears for the body dying in front of me.

( like here... is it your physical body that is dying or your spiritual body.)

Remembering the person I thought I was suppose to be.

(yea.. this one wuz like more depressing and stuff. How you are mourning for your body that is still walking, but yet in some way it is dead both physically and spiritually)

Writing down words that only a few will read.

(like an epitaph... i like it)

Deciding what it is that I truly need.

( yea in this part... its like if you really need somebody else)

Talking myself into being who I was meant to be.

(then self motivation)

Looking forward to the day when I can clearly see.

(and this is the nicest ending i read yet... nicely done)

5 out of 5
| Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by uncommon_flu | [ Reply to This ]


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