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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: That nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: prittee1
    ASL Info:    16/f/aus
    Elite Ratio:    2.51 - 13/21/6
    Words: 343
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 819
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2129



    Description:
       This poem is very important to me. You'll probably guess why when you read it. But don't let this stop you from commenting properly... I welcome all crit, as long as it's constructive, not just plain rude!!!!
    --->Elisa xoxo


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThat nightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can feel your eyes on me,
    I know that youíre looking,
    I try my best to hide,
    And I realise Iím shaking.

    Iím afraid of whatís going to happen,
    Even before I realise whatís on your mind,
    Yeah, I know what youíre doing,
    Iím smarter than I look, youíll find.

    I see you coming towards me,
    Out of the corner of my eye,
    I see the smile on your face,
    And Iím scared, I wonít lie.

    I walk a little faster,
    You cross the street,
    All I hear is my beating heart,
    And the shuffling of your feet.

    I donít know what to do,
    I sense you behind me,
    I turn around quickly,
    But itís not your face I see.

    Dark hood pulled down low,
    I know that Iím in strife,
    Right near my nose where you hold it,
    The sharp point of a knife.

    ďDonít scream.Ē You tell me,
    ďDonít scream and itíll be alright.Ē
    ďBut how do I know?Ē I think,
    As you guide me into the night.

    Away from the glow of a lamp post,
    Behind a big dark bush,
    Among the leaves and branches,
    Among the dirt Iím pushed.

    I feel you right above me,
    Your hot breath on my throat,
    Your putrid smell all around me,
    I feel like Iím going to choke.

    Iím in pain all the time,
    From the beginning to the end,
    Iím trying to get away,
    My body twists and bends.

    And by the time itís over,
    There are tears on my face,
    I feel completely disgusted,
    I feel completely disgraced.

    Soon you are gone,
    Though I can still feel you,
    You left a while ago, now,
    Ran so fast, almost flew.

    Now, whenever Iím walking,
    Iím scared for myself,
    Iím scared of all the people I see,
    Iím scared for my health.

    Because around every corner I feel you,
    Your scent I can smell,
    Donít you see what youíve done to me?
    My life is a living hell.




    Submitted on 2005-12-19 20:32:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow! this is powerfull! and emotional! wow! im really sry this happened to u! rape is horrible and ppl who do it should die and burn in hell! good joB expressing this!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      oh my god! this is so touching... i can so feel the emotion in my veins... it gives u the chills... u know ur very brave... and thats good...i dont knopw wat else to say but that this poem is absolutely great.
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by submarine | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a really good poem from the rape victims point of view i think u did a really good job explaining it
    i hope ur ok if this happened to u

    Queen Darkness of the Grim Draco
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      I am just totally amazed and just blown away, this was wonderful, I don't mean the subject matter cause rape is as far as I am concerned one of the most horrible crimes a person can committ and if this is from experience then I am sorry but i have to say your piece really brought the horrors of such a horrifying experience, kinda creepy. It's a pity though that such a beautiful piece came from such a horrifying experience or subject.

    Ever Hopeful,
    Jermaine.
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, definetly, Wow. Thats my first though when I read this. It's very powerful. Your writing is very good, you practically feel the whole thing, cuz its so strong. Your rhyming was really good and the wording was great. This is seriously an amazing poem, full of emotion. If this is from experience, I hope you are okay and doing good.

    Meg
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by dreamer37517 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, this is a powerful poem. i can feel the terror of being raped, and it's not a good feeling. The rhymes are okay, some spots are kind of off. This reminds me of a rape project i had done. i could have used this to [explain??] the feelings of a rape victim. All i can say is wow. I know this is a personal question, but is this from expierence? You don't have to answer but if it is, poetry is a great way to show your feelings, but if you need more help. 1-800-999-9999
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by Itzmeemiflee | [ Reply to This ]


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    85048

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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