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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: And Mary Thoughtdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jerilynn
    ASL Info:    59, woman, U.S.A.
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 68/66/20
    Words: 275
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1161
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1663



    Description:
       Seasonally appropriate, but in need of help. I will appreciate your comments. Thanks


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAnd Mary Thoughtdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I remember when
    The Angel came and told me
    That I would bare
    The only son of God
    And that hed be a king
    And save his people
    They would call him
    Wonderful, marvelous.
    How can that be the future
    Of this baby boy
    Who waves his arms
    And kicks his feet
    Who grasps my finger
    With his tiny hand
    As I reach to touch
    His smooth soft baby cheek
    He isnt just
    The first born of the father
    The Savior of mankind, Emanuel
    Hes my little baby
    And I love him
    More than any words could ever tell
    I look at all
    The faces gathered round us
    As they gazed in wonder
    At my little babe
    The shepherds, and the wise men
    And the travelers
    Come to worship god
    For the gift He gave
    How can they be sure
    Hes the one sent to them
    As they lay their priceless gifts
    Down at his feet
    Does he then look
    So very like his father
    Instead of just the baby soft and sweet
    I felt a stab of fear
    From deep inside me
    As I gazed at Jesus sleeping peacefully
    I could hardly see
    as tears began to gather
    and I wiped them from my eyes
    And off my cheek
    To all the world
    He is the blessed redeemer
    But he is just
    My precious babe to me
    Then I saw the gates
    Of heaven open widely
    And I heard ten thousand angel voices sing
    Then I saw the glory of my God almighty
    And I knew that hed take care of everything






    Submitted on 2005-12-19 23:09:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this fresh perspective on the Virgin Birth! You captured a mother's fears very well, and the ending is comforting and true, because she chose to trust in God.

    Again, I think that you should play around with the formatting, split the lines into stanzas, and not start every line with caps. Oh, and if i'm not mistaken, 'bare' in the 3rd line should be 'bear'.

    Nice work!
    | Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this is so beautifully written... you have so perfectly brought out mary's feelings... its absolutely perfect... i loved it
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by submarine | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree, it was a very good take on Mary. I liked the way you emphasised that mother's will always be mother's above all else. That is what mother's are best at. A very good and timely write.
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! This was beautifully written. I never thought about the brht of Jesus from Mary's point of view before. You painted a vivid picture of motherly love and joy. It did not seem like a poem but more like the start to a short story or novel. It was just wonderful. It flowed great. And it had dephtness to it. I could relate to Mary. You hit a jackpot here.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


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