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Sane For A Reason


Author: Hip-Hop Honey
ASL Info:    16/f/canada
Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 105 /86 /31
Words: 64
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 833
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 379



Description:


This poem I wrote myself for that is my hobby....I wrote this about the guy that I really like right now.....Althought we are having issues...He lives in England...But I would like your ideas or thoughts about my poem..And don't worry if you like this one I have hundreds more :P


Sane For A Reason



She falls for him more and more
The sound of his voice is the
Only thing that is keeping her sane
For in this world of confusion
She has beenliving in gets more clear
Because when she sees his face
He makes all her troubles fade away
He is her safe place,her rock in
This unfair world she has to live in
Everday....




Submitted on 2005-12-20 01:06:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Kinda Cliche but still good once again u can expand on this more and need to keep on idea in one line and start new lines when ur idea changes buy this was good very used topic but still good keep writing

-Logan
| Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ]
  this is very good but i think it's a very good start...you should definately add to it ...it's something great to build on...but what does anyone else know ..maybe that is all you wanted to say about the situation if so then leave it the way it is
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by tinkerbellsas | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree, it was good, but perhaps there is scope to expand on it a little. Perhaps twp or three more verses. There is certainly scope to do this - a good write though.
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
  it was good, but kind of short. It could use more flow, but i could sense your emotion. you did a good job. Keep up the good work.

~~Danni~~
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]
  I dont know I'm not sure I like how you just ended your piece without really going into the story of it, i would have loved to continued reading but you ended it so abruptly it was dangling a snickers bar in front of me and pulling it away just as soon as i reach out for it. But it was pretty good even though you were teasing me with it lol.

Smiles,
Jermaine.
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
  simple isn't bad, its good so 10 props for that one... line two could possiblity use a bit of work it just doesnt flow as well as it could...its a bit rough... any how its pleasant...
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Artist4rent | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a really good poem...it almost seems like there should be more to it though...it's good though it makes me want to read more of ur poems :)I like that this is a poem almost everyone could relate to...it could use a lil more flow though...but i'd say it's really good
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by kapri49 | [ Reply to This ]


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