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    dots Submission Name: the teardots

    Author: bentnotbroken
    ASL Info:    25+/m/middle of nowhere
    Elite Ratio:    4.6 - 351/260/38
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1046
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 411

       no real description, don't know where it came from, but I laid in bed too long so this is really only the ghost of what I had in my head. Any comments or critiques greatly appreciated.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe teardots

    the smallest-
    and yet most powerful-
    display of emotion,
    and what a range of emotion can be displayed:
    anger and fear,
    laughter and joy,
    all announced by one tiny drop of briny moisture,
    one salt-water streak down someone's face-
    the kryptonite of every "super"man
    and every woman's final weapon-
    the tear.

    Submitted on 2005-12-20 01:43:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good poem touching on the profound ability of the tear. It is funny how such a primal emotion can bring forth such a response and sad in a way, how some women seem to use this as a weapon. It kind of takes the sincerity away from a feeling that should be sincere and heartfelt. As a woman I must say that when a man cries it has a profound effect on me. Not only does it show that he is sensitive and comfortable enough in his manhood to display such a feeling but also that he has a warm and caring heart. So, as much as a woman's tear has an effect on a man, it has just as much effect on a woman when a man cries. In fact, it may even be more powerful a weapon for a man as a woman is expected to cry where as a man is expected to be strong and not show this emotion. A man could really use this as the ultimate weapon as it makes him seem gentle and in touch with his feelings, when all the while it is a most effective manipulation. This is a very thought provoking well written poem. I have given you some insight from a different perspective. hee hee! Take care.

    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      That's true it is just about every man's weakness, and just about every womans last weapon. I liked it, it expresses things that most people don't really think about. I also liked the way it explains the uses of a tear.
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Raye | [ Reply to This ]
      very powerful indeed. well-written too. says so much in just a few words. conveys two points of view explicitly. nice job there, superman.

    every woman's final weapon-

    we do have others though!
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very good poem I really like it. I think however you should be evasive about what the subject is. I think that if you were to beat around the bush about what it is it would catch more attention. I mean that this is beautiful tha way it is but if you were to add in other elements like mystery it would be one hell of a poem. "the kryptonite of every "super"man" this line has to be my favorite line in the whole poem because for most men it is true. I would also like to see you get into detail about one emotion that would really set off a trigger for a barage of tears. In the future I really look forward to seeing more of your work and I hope that this all helps. I'm adding this to my faves.
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by takenspiritwind | [ Reply to This ]
    Exceptinally written
    I write a lot of poems about tears
    You might want to check out
    Healing Orbs Of Water
    A write of mine
    I think you will like it
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    I hope your little angel is doing well!
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a nice poem. I like the simplicity of the idea (I consider simplicity a good thing). Your hyphens should be dashes though (In most word processors you type two hyphens and hit enter to make a dash, but some won't, so two hyphens typed together are considered equivalent). I liked the superman line best too, Amy
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      A very powerful way to describe the emotions of such a tiny thing as a tear drop,The kryptonite of ever "super" man, wonderful line maybe its because I've never thought of a mans tears in such a way, but oh how so true it is,lots of luck and joy on your new addition to your family,keep tapping those keys am looking frward to read more of your works
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]

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