[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: the teardots

    Author: bentnotbroken
    ASL Info:    25+/m/middle of nowhere
    Elite Ratio:    4.6 - 351/260/38
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 957
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 411

       no real description, don't know where it came from, but I laid in bed too long so this is really only the ghost of what I had in my head. Any comments or critiques greatly appreciated.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe teardots

    the smallest-
    and yet most powerful-
    display of emotion,
    and what a range of emotion can be displayed:
    anger and fear,
    laughter and joy,
    all announced by one tiny drop of briny moisture,
    one salt-water streak down someone's face-
    the kryptonite of every "super"man
    and every woman's final weapon-
    the tear.

    Submitted on 2005-12-20 01:43:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good poem touching on the profound ability of the tear. It is funny how such a primal emotion can bring forth such a response and sad in a way, how some women seem to use this as a weapon. It kind of takes the sincerity away from a feeling that should be sincere and heartfelt. As a woman I must say that when a man cries it has a profound effect on me. Not only does it show that he is sensitive and comfortable enough in his manhood to display such a feeling but also that he has a warm and caring heart. So, as much as a woman's tear has an effect on a man, it has just as much effect on a woman when a man cries. In fact, it may even be more powerful a weapon for a man as a woman is expected to cry where as a man is expected to be strong and not show this emotion. A man could really use this as the ultimate weapon as it makes him seem gentle and in touch with his feelings, when all the while it is a most effective manipulation. This is a very thought provoking well written poem. I have given you some insight from a different perspective. hee hee! Take care.

    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      That's true it is just about every man's weakness, and just about every womans last weapon. I liked it, it expresses things that most people don't really think about. I also liked the way it explains the uses of a tear.
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Raye | [ Reply to This ]
      very powerful indeed. well-written too. says so much in just a few words. conveys two points of view explicitly. nice job there, superman.

    every woman's final weapon-

    we do have others though!
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very good poem I really like it. I think however you should be evasive about what the subject is. I think that if you were to beat around the bush about what it is it would catch more attention. I mean that this is beautiful tha way it is but if you were to add in other elements like mystery it would be one hell of a poem. "the kryptonite of every "super"man" this line has to be my favorite line in the whole poem because for most men it is true. I would also like to see you get into detail about one emotion that would really set off a trigger for a barage of tears. In the future I really look forward to seeing more of your work and I hope that this all helps. I'm adding this to my faves.
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by takenspiritwind | [ Reply to This ]
    Exceptinally written
    I write a lot of poems about tears
    You might want to check out
    Healing Orbs Of Water
    A write of mine
    I think you will like it
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    I hope your little angel is doing well!
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a nice poem. I like the simplicity of the idea (I consider simplicity a good thing). Your hyphens should be dashes though (In most word processors you type two hyphens and hit enter to make a dash, but some won't, so two hyphens typed together are considered equivalent). I liked the superman line best too, Amy
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      A very powerful way to describe the emotions of such a tiny thing as a tear drop,The kryptonite of ever "super" man, wonderful line maybe its because I've never thought of a mans tears in such a way, but oh how so true it is,lots of luck and joy on your new addition to your family,keep tapping those keys am looking frward to read more of your works
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]