the tear by bentnotbroken

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: the tear dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	bentnotbroken
ASL Info:	25+/m/middle of nowhere
Elite Ratio:	4.6 - 351/260/38
Words:	52

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	1046
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	411

Description:
no real description, don't know where it came from, but I laid in bed too long so this is really only the ghost of what I had in my head. Any comments or critiques greatly appreciated.

the tear dots

-------------------------------------------

the smallest-
and yet most powerful-
display of emotion,
and what a range of emotion can be displayed:
anger and fear,
sorrow,
laughter and joy,
all announced by one tiny drop of briny moisture,
one salt-water streak down someone's face-
the kryptonite of every "super"man
and every woman's final weapon-
the tear.

Submitted on 2005-12-20 01:43:46 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This is a good poem touching on the profound ability of the tear. It is funny how such a primal emotion can bring forth such a response and sad in a way, how some women seem to use this as a weapon. It kind of takes the sincerity away from a feeling that should be sincere and heartfelt. As a woman I must say that when a man cries it has a profound effect on me. Not only does it show that he is sensitive and comfortable enough in his manhood to display such a feeling but also that he has a warm and caring heart. So, as much as a woman's tear has an effect on a man, it has just as much effect on a woman when a man cries. In fact, it may even be more powerful a weapon for a man as a woman is expected to cry where as a man is expected to be strong and not show this emotion. A man could really use this as the ultimate weapon as it makes him seem gentle and in touch with his feelings, when all the while it is a most effective manipulation. This is a very thought provoking well written poem. I have given you some insight from a different perspective. hee hee! Take care.

Lorna
| Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  That's true it is just about every man's weakness, and just about every womans last weapon. I liked it, it expresses things that most people don't really think about. I also liked the way it explains the uses of a tear.
Georgina
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Raye | [ Reply to This ]
  very powerful indeed. well-written too. says so much in just a few words. conveys two points of view explicitly. nice job there, superman.

every woman's final weapon-

we do have others though!
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very good poem I really like it. I think however you should be evasive about what the subject is. I think that if you were to beat around the bush about what it is it would catch more attention. I mean that this is beautiful tha way it is but if you were to add in other elements like mystery it would be one hell of a poem. "the kryptonite of every "super"man" this line has to be my favorite line in the whole poem because for most men it is true. I would also like to see you get into detail about one emotion that would really set off a trigger for a barage of tears. In the future I really look forward to seeing more of your work and I hope that this all helps. I'm adding this to my faves.
*~Krystina~*
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by takenspiritwind | [ Reply to This ]
  Beautiful
Exceptinally written
I write a lot of poems about tears
You might want to check out
Healing Orbs Of Water
A write of mine
I think you will like it
God Bless
Your Friend
Ron
I hope your little angel is doing well!
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a nice poem. I like the simplicity of the idea (I consider simplicity a good thing). Your hyphens should be dashes though (In most word processors you type two hyphens and hit enter to make a dash, but some won't, so two hyphens typed together are considered equivalent). I liked the superman line best too, Amy
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  A very powerful way to describe the emotions of such a tiny thing as a tear drop,The kryptonite of ever "super" man, wonderful line maybe its because I've never thought of a mans tears in such a way, but oh how so true it is,lots of luck and joy on your new addition to your family,keep tapping those keys am looking frward to read more of your works
adnil
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

85073

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
Giving written by jjd
Wish written by Daniel Barlow
Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
4th of July written by layDsayD
What happens written by Wolfwatching
In My Head written by faideddarkness
In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
Song written by Daniel Barlow
Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
Wavelength written by saartha
Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
untitled written by Chelebel
Trails written by Daniel Barlow
Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
I will call out your name written by RisingSon
Summer written by layDsayD
Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
It's Night Now written by RisingSon
Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
Wasps written by Wolfwatching
The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
Linger written by saartha
new moon written by CrypticBard
To written by SavedDragon
cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.