I don't even know what she looks like
she might even like to go for hike
or maybe go fishing for northern pike
hell she could even be a Dyke
I have no clue who she screws
is she open when she has booze
but she sounds cool to drink brews
but when she does she’s like a fuse
and I hope she not a damneb myth
And can drink a whole fifth
one that she can come with
also a B she came herewith
she brought two she got me one
now we can have a little fun
but don't keep me on the run
I only want to be with you hun
u make me feel like your the sun
but I would like to be on my toes
and then I'll hand you a rose
then I see that your heart rose
ya um um um... you know those
and u know what she smokes weed
also I think she likes to read
thinks she is a different breed
the word fine she can exceed
what I write down on paper
sometimes it turns into a vapor
then I know it is very proper
that makes me much happier
she has a good creative side
with her I could take long a stride
with out listening to her I cried
I knew where to go. She would guide
me so I could find my self
And stop chilling by myself
and get me off this shelf
and start to share your wealth
but she lives far away
but I'm moving out that way
when? I can not say
and I wont live by the bay
hey let me use my tool
so then it will be cool
to chill by the pool
and I promise I wont drool
with her smoking some buds
that we got off those thugs
later can I sip on your jugs
naa I think we can just give hugs
Hey Drew~ This is alot like your 1st Nikki, with the exception of some added lines. I agree w/ Artist about your 2nd to last line. It screams 'typical guy' but the last line smooths it over. You've got alot of rhyme going on here. Self, myself, shelf, wealth, away, way, say, bay, ect. I'd like to see a piece where you've broken up that rhyme sceme a bit so I'm going to take a peek @ some of your other pieces. ~Tonya
tak I mean thanks for the comment, I need to read a bit more of your stuff... You have a gift for ryhmes, personally its something I lack, Subject wise I can really get into... But its sweet at the end... the second to last line I was like typically guy!
well there...looks like you found your vermillion..it rhymes right? pretty simple...so..is this a girl that you haven't met yet? sounds like it anyway. you movin out to cali man? if so, let me know where at. i have to say...i like the other poem i commented on a little better, but yeah, poetry is like guitar shredding...it only gets better with practice. lol...and by the way, is that your new tat? cause that thing is sweet as hell! hey bro take care
Submission Name: Nikki 2
