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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: hour glassdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: snacky fish
    ASL Info:    31/male/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 377/472/111
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 994
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 649



    Description:
       another sad poem YAY!!! take care


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshour glassdots
    -------------------------------------------


    pass the hour glass

    a melancholy mystery
    haunts my history
    a passive strategy
    to fulfill my tragedy

    harken the ears
    of soothe sayers and seers
    of mediums and mystics
    of angles and heretics

    pass the hour glass

    a malevolent mystery
    of morose misery
    not Mason, nor Holmes
    could see the closet for the bones

    beckon the breeze
    for all it sees
    romance the rose
    for all it knows

    pass the hour glass
    so that i might cast
    its epic evil away
    with timeless dismay




    Submitted on 2005-12-20 12:16:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I know this is supposed to be sad, and it is, but at first I burst out laughing because I kept thinking of that stupid soap opera, days of our lives. (My mother is a fanatic!) & so the phrase "like sands through the hourglass so are the days of our lives" kept repeating in my mind.

    But I re-read it without thinking of that once & I found it very calm, scerene, reminded me of lazy days in the summertime.
    | Posted on 2008-08-01 00:00:00 | by kickit | [ Reply to This ]
      What's good, man? Yo, I had to say I wuz feelin this poem. I think theme "Pass the Hour Glass" wuz a good theme, because it's something nobody has ever used. Keep it up, man.
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by K-Beezy | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey,Dreamer,so sorry for not commenting on this earlier..I've been super busy! lol Well,I really love this one because of the way it made me think.I'd tried so hard to see into your reason;the thought you're trying to protray.It was difficult to see,yes,but I think I figured it out.I see this as not only beautiful,but pure genius.You must have put a many of hour of thought to this,but who I am to questoin such an artist?The message I see is that the hourglass,or 'time' persay,is the cause of your sorrow.That time has slurred your haunted history of which is a mystery to not only us,but also you.That time has used such a passive stradegy to cause your tradegy,or sorrow.So,now,that you are at your end and hold the hourglass in your hands,you want the mystics and soothe-sayers and the other people who deal with the supernatural,I guess,to listen so they can hear a most awful tale about a such terrible misery that no-one even the greatest of dectecting minds could find once it was killed.And you tell them to ask two of the oldest and most beautiful things to tell them all that they know...At the end of your tale,you say to "give the hourglass to me so that I can be rid of it for all the evil it has done"...Well,that's my god-awful rant and theory of what this means!I think that what I have said makes no earthly sense,but that's up to you.I hope that I have a good grasp upon what it means and I hope to see another one of your works very soon,since you know that I absolutely adore your work!So,happy holidays and God bless...Maybe soon,he'll heal your terrible heart-ache... :) - Lindel
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by LRRolins | [ Reply to This ]
      I always love running into your work, it never ceases to amaze me.
    I love the way that this flows so easily and I'm a sucker for alliteration so I'm in love with this.

    "pass the hour glass

    a malevolent mystery
    of morose misery
    not Mason, nor Holmes
    could see the closet for the bones"

    That's so awesome. And I just loved the line 'pass the hour glass' it's just so nifty

    Never Stop Writing
    -Caribou-
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      i realy like this one it's goin on my fave list. i like the smoothness of the flow and just the feel i get from it. i feel as if i could actually get ahold of the hour glass. i also feel the need to turn back time and just correct all the bad events, i realy think this is a great poem thx for posting it.

    brandon
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by disturbedx1000 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really well written poem. I like how you displayed the hour glass, time, as something that you could physically pass along. My fav part is

    beckon the breeze
    for all it sees
    romance the rose
    for all it knows
    This stanza really brings to me the emotion conveyed through this poem. Good write!
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by unforgiving05 | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah this was great. I loved the theme. Oh how i wish i could just smash the hour glass and stop the toll of time forever. i loved the last part. It just finishes the poem off very well. Well this is going to my Favs list.

    ~peace out~
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by cannibal | [ Reply to This ]
      Instant favorite. I don't this is very sad it is beautiful...to me anyway. It is astonishing and just blows me away. "a melancholy mystery
    haunts my history
    a passive strategy
    to fulfill my tragedy "
    This stanza is beautifl and it gives me the chills. Another one of the stanzas I loved was "beckon the breeze
    for all it sees
    romance the rose
    for all it knows"
    Just beautiful! I don't see sadness in this poem but beauty it is an amazing poem. I hope that in the future I get to read more of your work.
    Krystina
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by takenspiritwind | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this very much but I do have some suggestions:

    of soothes and seers
    of mediums and mystics
    of angles and heretics

    I think it should be 'soothsayers and seers' and 'angels and heretics'

    just some nitpicking, no big deal.

    it flows really well and has neat sounds to it. and the rhyming is pretty good although a mite predictable. still, it's good--I don't like to comment harshly or offensively and don't need to here. nice job.
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]


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