*stares at screen in awe* i know it says not to say "i can relate" but wow. i cant describe how wonderful this is. this is one of the best write i have viewed in along time. ur style is amazing...this was perfect. -sun/justin
I'm not sure what the kid has done to p#ss you off so much that you would dash her dreams of wishing on a star *evil cackles*. I agree with Saimi Marie about those lines, I would maybe go with 'with the fire of uncountable sacrifice' or something of that ilk. As you move on to our world, in the second part the piece it becomes less clear and a bit confused for me and I'm not sure what you're saying there. in contrast to the start where it's or seems to be quite straight forward. Other than that this is another original piece that keeps you reading. Thanks.
Love the line about how death can't grant us wishes, but it can feed us our dreeams. The poem was good, i liked it alot. The only problem is that there was a lot of repition throughout the poem. Also what is the difference between a billion corpes and a billion deaths? Are they two different things or are they the same?
Death can't grant our wishes but death can feed us dreams. How true, especially nowadays. Have you ever heard those old folk tales that the stars are really the souls of our ancesters? This poem reminded me of that. Also it made me think two other things, how sleep is a waste of life sometimes, and how we always seem to miss things because we went the opposite way