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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cannibaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cannibal
    ASL Info:    18/f/MO usa
    Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 47/47/15
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 737
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 517



    Description:
       well this one is about 2 winters ago when our heat got turned off. The heat line to our trailer got cut so my parents had to live without heat while we lived at our grandfathers. I remember spending the night at the house and seeing how we had to sleep in one room together and how cold it was...yeah it pissed me off. this is about how our landlord wouldn't do anything about it. Tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCannibaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    You fester, diluted peace of flesh
    meat to feed the fire with
    let the slaves give the gold and you’ll live in your
    well lit hell

    lock the craver in its cell,
    let him hunger ‘till death dwells
    feed your slaves stale bread
    waist your money on furnishings and “finer things”

    feed that hunger
    deep devour
    ‘till the kingdoms whole you’ve dug
    for the gravestone will not give all you desire
    your cannibalism will devour.




    Submitted on 2005-12-20 15:31:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow. anger. i liked your word choice. but in the last stanza im not sure if you meant whole or hole. but maybe that was on purpose
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Itzmeemiflee | [ Reply to This ]
      grrrrowllll! (that's really all i have to say.) haha.. yeah.. this was some intense anger... great descriptive words and.. just.. whoa.. you totalling set some vivid images in my mind... i want to go beat up this dumb landlord for being such a meanface... (yeah.. that's the best insult i got..) but yeah.. whoa.. very firey... i liked it.

    Brooke
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]
      This I liked
    I men Really Really Liked
    You spoke the truth
    Where the heck was your landlord
    Why couldnt he help
    Even if it was to bring blankets or something as a way to help out your fellow man in a time of need
    I swer to you
    I only wish I knew why this world can be so selfish
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This was pretty intense and raw! you did a good job of painting a picture of your feeling and this slumlord.

    What a horrif time that must of been for your family.

    A few typos I think you meant "waste" and I'm not sure if in the last stana you meant whole or hole.

    Nice write!

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      It sounds like your hard core pissed off right know. But I like it, it expresses your emotion really well. it flows nicely as well. i like the begining stanza as well. Keep up the good writes.
    Gerorgina
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Raye | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, I'd say you were pissed alright. this was very raw and feeled with disgust. Disgust for the miserly way the Landlord treated you. I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you and your family. The term you used to describe him sounds fitting, he was feeding off your family's rent money to live large. And it is sad he did not step up and fix your heating problem. This was really good.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


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