The cannon man by Atrip187

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Submission Name: The cannon man dots

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Author:	Atrip187
ASL Info:	21/Male/Some Alley
Elite Ratio:	4.53 - 81/76/21
Words:	49

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	194
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	377

Description:

The cannon man dots

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Rocket Launched dreams,
Soaring over fields of Desparation,,
Destined To fall,
Wings sprouted from Schemes,
Ride the winds of Inspiration,
Risking it All,

Staring upward as I descend,
Yet Soar,
Knowing that this joy may end,
Yet Praying for more,

Loved and lost
Worth the cost

Submitted on 2005-12-20 22:38:35 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
Arrrtilareee! "We were born in france in 17, In the hell of the..." Oh, sorry, sorry. Are you a papa or a mike, Mr 13? Enough bad army jokes though.

This is short and sweet and suits the canoneer metaphor very nicely, excellent work there. I especialy like how your cadance (did it again didn't I?) quickly rises and falls in the short span allowed it in this piece. An excellent effect. Reminds me of MLRS live fires by moonlight, and what's more like love then that? I was going to fit "bombastic" in there but that was going too far I think.

Shot Out!

Jason

PS: Must be chilly about now, are you dodging the field like I suggested?
| Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by Jason The Basta | [ Reply to This ]
What a powerfull message( I love that pun don't you)
Life shot out of a cannon, defines just what caliber of person you are(Another pun) I'll settle down, and first of all;
THANK YOU FOR SERVING AND GIVING US WHO REMAIN AT HOME THE SECURITY OF KNOWING FREEDOM WILL OVERCOME EVIL.
Now to this cute work, amazing how our life is reflected in what we write, and how it is contrived. A very interesting concept and all too often our youth are shot into the air by peer pressure and ruined families with out even a proper aim at a target, like the old arrow "I know not where".
This sort of leaves out a very important factor about love/lost love. That rocket will always blow up(supposed to anyway), love does not have to self implode. Love is sometimes stuffed down the cannon(or anothers throat) and a charge too hot burns away at its outer shell of protection, exposing their inner core. Then corrosion takes over and soon the bullet is flying off course. Lost love!
Well, there is lots of fresh ideas for another write, go for it! Haha.
As you can see you inspired me to think, I hope others will be as well.
Great writing, and keep your back covered.
I wish you all a safe and as good as it can be, a Merry and Happy Christmas.
| Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]

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