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    dots Submission Name: nothings wholedots

    Author: my pain
    ASL Info:    16/F/aust
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 191/123/39
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 725
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 381

       alrighty i wrote this poem because i feel that nearly everything has a meanning in life... i hope you all enjoy

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsnothings wholedots

    the paint on the wall...
    so lifeless....
    and yet all knowing,
    but the memories hidden and helpless.

    the cold glass window,
    capturing a fearful eye,
    stolen from the hapiness,
    the window alone will cry.

    the picture broken,
    a cracked soul,
    a tarnished reminder,
    thats nothings whole.

    Submitted on 2005-12-21 03:15:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      im so envious... it amazes me how you can possibly fit in so much emotion into such short poems
    as usual, i enjoyed reading it
    i think that every single thing in life has got a meaning and it is there for some reason or the other
    totally agree with your point

    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      When I read this, I pictured me being in an old styled house with the paint chipping off the wood, and broken glass windows... and an old picture still hangin but tarnished on the wall. I like how you used excellent and vivid imagery to relate that to your soul. It's kinda sad, but... I did enjoy the way you brought the out. Nice job, dawg.
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by K-Beezy | [ Reply to This ]
      it might be nice to try using more words to describe the parts of the room...with more description

    "the cold glass window,
    capturing a fearful eye,
    stolen from the hapiness,
    the window alone will cry."

    that was a really good illustration.

    i can picture it in my head.

    | Posted on 2006-01-01 00:00:00 | by LNizzle | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this
    The imagery this write created was of a very lonely person who was always alone staring out the window wondering what pain the outside world may bring
    This write is sad but very emotional
    God Bless

    Please if you get a chance take a look at some of my poetry and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      although short this poem realy gets me thinking i'm picturing a house not to old but old enough to were the paint is pealing showing the other colors that used to be on the wall, for some reason i also see some kind of tragedy that might have taken place, idk i think the broken picture frame gave me that idea. but i like this simple but makes you wonder what happened.

    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by disturbedx1000 | [ Reply to This ]

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