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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I couldn't look away (two)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: spoken
    ASL Info:    24/m/Atl
    Elite Ratio:    5.4 - 153/192/54
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 239
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1292



    Description:
       This is part two of a series part one is "Her smile gave way to laughter."


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI couldn't look away (two)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    her smile gave way to laughter...


    Moments later we where sharing ciggs and personal history over coffee.

    I mostly listened and enjoyed the way her long, sun-dyed hair framed her face like the perfect painting. I couldn't look away, nor did I try.

    Her converstation didn't give away much, save the traces of a Jersey accent that begged the question:"Why here? Why Atlanta?"

    She responded, "Wherever your heart may wave you."

    "I think I get it," I lied.

    She leaned in closer, "Pages turn, chapters end. So long as it's you who controls the pen."

    I took her hand in mine, "If only you could see yourself through my eyes right now. There are so many questions I want to ask you."

    She squeezed my hand playfully and said, "Take me to your favorite place in the city."

    My apartment was twenty minutes away.






    Submitted on 2005-12-21 05:56:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      my dog, grand total of about 10 minutes-- I kind of sense some serious love here...must be one special chick--hey it is possible Love at first site--I doubt it but hey it can happen and two perfectly compatible people who's eyes meet and rockets go off simultaneously-------(I suppose --BUT and I say this very loosely especially if you really love her and I would never ssay this if I wasn't taking the other side of the coin here just to make a point in the poem---a girl was easy to pick up-what 15 minutes +tops and back to your house--Doubtfull that was her first time she ever went back to a guys apartment within15 minutes of meeting----??I mean I don't know maybe it is her first time doing this and says it to you--"I've never done anything like this before*then giggles*"

    ahhh maybe I am just bitter
    Lt
    | Posted on 2005-12-26 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      This has to be the most orriginal poem I have read yet man. I mean there are so many different thoughts that these words invoke and yet so little is said. You get that your in a coffe house. You get that your at an intimate little table close to eachother. You get that your looking into eachothers eyes and yet it all goes unsaid. Yo this joint is hot.

    Good Write
    Ghost Child
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by Ghost Child | [ Reply to This ]
      A beautiful story. Honest and heartfelt. I like the part where she asks about the favourite place in the city... and it's his apartment. Hehehehe!!! You draw a comparison here or perhaps a metaphor with - Home is where the heart is or there is no place like home.

    Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by K | [ Reply to This ]



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