Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Learningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: tinkerbellsas
    ASL Info:    22/f/ny
    Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 67/66/32
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 602
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 887



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLearningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Everytime I close m y eyes
    Your face is all I see
    The light in your eyes
    And your smile so sweet

    Loving you is my life's work
    All I want to do is see you smile
    Hold you in my arms
    And be together

    So why can't I just let it be
    Believe that you love ME
    Know that you'll never do me wrong
    That you will never leave

    My insecurities hold me tight
    I have to make them let go
    I need to see that you are not the same
    The same as all the losers in the past

    You won't hurt me like that
    You'll always love me the way you should
    When we make love
    You'll mean the words you say

    You make me whole
    And I just have to learn
    That is all that matters
    Your love is all I need




    Submitted on 2005-12-21 14:25:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think this is a wonderful poem and you did a great job expressing your feelings but maybe there was something more you could have said to make it complete, Something you could have added to get your point completely across to the readers. I still enjoyed reading it though it is a wonderful poem.
    | Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      Its pretty good!
    Just a small thing I would change is
    Everytime I close m y eyes
    Your face is all I see
    The light in your eyes
    And your smile so sweet
    You said eyes and it make the flow kindof choppy.
    Amber
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed reading this poem...I think many people could relate to this poem...to me it seemed almost incomplete...like maybe one or two more lines...it was very to the point which is good...but personally i like more metaphorical poems...they give the reader the chance to decide what the poem means to them...where as this poem the meaning is obvious...but it was really good...well written
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by kapri49 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    85237

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry