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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Man, I'm Manly!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: psychoneurosis
    ASL Info:    37/m/Chennai
    Elite Ratio:    3.44 - 37/46/24
    Words: 975
    Class/Type: Prose/Satire
    Total Views: 1040
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 5603



    Description:
       well...u gotto read this one...i dont have many words to say about this one...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMan, I'm Manly!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession to make. A deep, dark, horrible secret that I have been harbouring inside, eating into my conscience so much that I have to reveal it. Oh, I know you will ostracize me. My friends will hide their faces in shame and my family will have to change their name, but I must follow this path. Therefore, with a heavy heart, I will put myself at your mercy and reveal it to you.
    I cry. Yes, I'm afraid it's true, real tears and everything! Go ahead, I'll wait while you recheck my name to make sure I'm a guy. I could tell you that I only cry when I'm very sad or hurt, but those are feeble excuses, inadequate reasons for condoning my shameful crime. After all, I am a man! Damn!
    Okay, enough sarcasm, but I really hate this attitude that people have. 'Manly' men don't cry or complain. We can do idiotic things like smash our fists into walls, or break a few car windows to vent our hurt or frustration, but that's acceptable! As long as it is only blood that drips, and not tears. And how about this idea that the 'manly' man does not enter the kitchen, except maybe to get a taste of whatever his mother/sister/wife/maid is sweetly making for him. Ask a 'manly' man if he can cook, and he'll proudly tell you that he can only make coffee and toast, adding the fact that he usually burns the toast as further proof of his masculine carelessness for this effeminate pastime.
    The other day, a guy I know baked his girlfriend a chocolate cake for their anniversary. Heart-shaped icing, cream border, the whole deal. By chance, it was discovered by his male friends, and he never heard the end of it!
    "Where's your apron, sweetheart?"
    "Where did you get the recipe? Good housekeeping?"
    "What's next, kitty parties?"
    But even more asinine was when a close friend seriously advised him against giving the cake to his girlfriend, "She may lose her respect for you!"
    Frankly, I think it was a nice gesture. He took the trouble to give her something more personal than the usual flowers, perfumes or jewelry. I'm sure she really appreciated his effort, regardless of whether the cake was edible or not. But I know one thing, the poor guy was harassed so much, he probably won't do it again!
    What is this fixation we have with the stereotype of 'The Man'? And it isn't only other males who discriminate against guys who do things a little differently. Though women will repeatedly claim that they have no such prejudices, many do hold it against a guy if he prefers badminton to rugby and poetry to thrillers. A man should be like this, a woman like that, and anyone slightly different has to either hide their uniqueness or suffer the consequences.
    It is my belief that in India, as in many other parts of the world, this prejudice stems from the home environment we are brought up in. Visit any average middle-class urban household at about 6 p.m. and you'll find the son downstairs playing cricket or football, while the daughter is helping her mother to prepare the dal for the evening meal. Maybe the girl wants to go down and play cricket as well. Perhaps the boy wants to stay in and learn how to make raita. But there are boy-things and girl-things, and most parents, out of a centuries-old habit, automatically pass on these boundaries to their children. It's not unusual to hear a mother try to dissuade her son from talking on the phone too long or playing with his hair by saying, "Stop that! It's a girly habit!"
    I don't claim to be totally free from these stereotypes either. I don't wear anything that is even remotely pink, because to me it's a 'girlish' colour. I'd rather die than scream out in agony when I stub my toe. I refuse to wear those Friendship Day ribbons around my wrist because it offends my 'manly' tastes. Though I know these are silly beliefs, I still can't get rid of them. And now they're becoming detrimental to me.
    Here's a telling example. Quite some years back, in one of my more reckless moods, I decided to colour my hair blue. The whole process involved first bleaching my hair to a shade lighter than my natural jet-black, and then applying the blue hair colour. I went over to a friend's house to do it as he had the colour and the bleach. He was really helpful, he set me up with gloves, the colour, towels, water, everything. But just as we were about to begin, he began to look slightly awkward. He started backing out of the room, muttering something about making an urgent phone call. I looked at him with surprise. "I thought you were going to help me! You've tried this before, I don't know what to do!" He slunk back into the room grumpily. We mixed the bleach and he stood poised above me, ready to rub it into my hair. Suddenly, as if on cue, we both jumped back. I grabbed the bleach from him, he tossed me the gloves, and I slammed the door behind him as he quickly left the room. The stereotype of the gay hairdresser had proved to be too strong for us! I messed up the process alone, and then I was left with a greenish-brown fringe of hair in front. Strangers laughed at me as they walk by, and my friends had displayed their creativity by calling me a variety of embarrassing names. My social life had totally disintegrated. But hey, at least I have my manhood!




    Submitted on 2005-12-21 15:50:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sorry gautam one i come from a very bourgeois society in india and this is what majority of india looks like! heck... half the world's leading country would share the same platform as us when it comes to a bourgeois society!

    Plus i took a few creative liberties here and there to get the message out! after all my rant was supposed to be a social satire piece... not a news article on "how india treats its men!"

    Peace Out!
    | Posted on 2011-11-15 00:00:00 | by psychoneurosis | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I had to try very hard not to laugh out loud at the end. I am sitting in the library, thinking this would be a good read, put a smile on my face, then before I know it I am holding my breath trying not to laugh. I think this is great, I hate stereotypes. I am definately adding this to my favorites. I just want to say, that I think a guy who can cook is awesome, and in some cases, sexy. I might have gotten this from the fact that most of the guys in my family can cook, though they hide the fact (all but my father). So when I actually find a guy, outside my family, that can cook I am completely blown away. I don't understand what is so bad about being able to cook anyway, you can make a lot of money being a gourmet chef.

    Okay, I think I am done ranting. I loved this. kudos to you, man, for posting this.

    Bonnie
    | Posted on 2006-02-13 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      *laughs* oh my god, this is absolutely hilarious! i love this rant and i am going to add it to my favorites! lol, god forbid any of us should go beyond the boundaries that society has set up for us.

    *giggles* gay hairdressers... you know, honestly, i find that men who are secure enough in their own sexuality to cross-dress the hottest men of all. seriously, if a guy came up to me, dressed as a woman, and asked me to marry him, i'd do it right then and there. lol, but i guess that's just me and my '[censored] society' attitude.

    lovely rant, thanks for sharing with us.

    -jess
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
      your my hero. and an amazing writer. props for being ridiculously honest and comfortable with yourself and emotions...i love the title and last line..keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by kma12790 | [ Reply to This ]
      *applaudes* ah...stereotypical satire at its very best. I find it all rather amusing really..irritating...but amusing! i think i broke those little "girly" barriers a long ass time ago...so when i actually do wear something other than my usual black, i get heckled by _everyone_ ...like i said...irritating...but amusing in the end. Not just that its good to throw them off a bit...chaos is a good thing.
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by Catylyx | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey I really like this. It is good to breat stereotypes and let people know who you really are. Very cool.
    Keep up the good work and never stop being yourself!
    Ciao, Amber
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]
      I LOVE YOU

    really i do what you are what real girls wont you are my dream man lol. No but really i do admire you for you honesty in my oppinion you are not manly you are the man lol (ok that was alittle gay). but yea you are verry cool man sorry i ramble you could cry on me any time well write poetry together and eat cake we made. ill die your hair too

    xoxo
    that girl
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by sweet sorenity | [ Reply to This ]
      hey i was thinking about what you said in india, and i have to disagree, perhaps my parents, society and circle of friends are slightly progressive but i love working in the kitchen, writing poetry, talking on the phone and playing with my hair but nobody gives a fu ck, my friend circle is one of the more man stereotype(smokers, druggies, drinkers in a dry state,gangs so on) yet none of them really mind, in fact they find it cool that i make the best walnut fudge in town. so i dunno, but i dont think your right there except in backward places
    much respect for the truth
    g
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by Gautam | [ Reply to This ]


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