This was a very down to earth piece. I would agree it is a bit cheery, I dunno but it doesn't feel too depressing. The simplicity of it was a strenght too. Just, oh I didn't really feel like a message here, just it just I dunno how to describe it. Don't change this, it is fine the way it is. Short poem, short response, just kdding. Metal Heart74
That sounds a little sadistic if you ask me, especially considering the fact that you say you smile when you recite the words aloud; I'm not saying that's a bad thing, though. And although this piece was quite simple, I think it did hold a deep message-maybe not really profound, but rather the constant issue of teen pregnancies (which is the vibe I got from reading this). Maybe you were intending that? This poem has this feeling of melancholy: The way you repeat "run little darling" tries to soften that, but the message is still a sad one.
I only recommend that you capitalize a few words you forgot there, and maybe add an apostrophe to "Ill." Other than that, I don't have much to criticize, only that-though you may not realize it-this piece can really open one's eyes. Good job, Azrael
Submission Name: Run
