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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Birthdaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Itzmeemiflee
    Elite Ratio:    2.93 - 28/24/12
    Words: 304
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 1014
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1983



    Description:
       Spur of the moment writing. Tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBirthdaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sally got up early
    To do her hair and brush her teeth
    She got dressed in a skirt
    And put on her fancy socks

    Sally went downstairs
    To sit at the table
    Waiting patiently
    For her parents to come downstairs

    Sally thought
    About the presents she would be getting
    Thinking about what surprises
    Her parents had in store

    Sally knew they were pretending
    To forget about her birthday
    she knew it was all an act
    And today she would be getting what she wanted

    Sally heard her father coming down the stairs
    She smoothed down her hair
    And folded her hands
    On the table

    Sally saw her father look at her
    From across the room
    She saw the looks that passed on his face
    Surprise, Question, then guilt

    Sally saw him come over to her
    Peck her on the cheek
    "I'm sorry baby," he said
    "I forgot."

    Sally knew he was kidding
    and that he was just waiting for her mom
    When she heard Mom come down the stairs
    She sat up taller

    Sally saw her mom stop
    and look at her dad
    she saw the look that passed between them
    and she saw her mom's hands begin to shake

    Sally felt her mother touch her hand
    "Tomorrow, baby, I'll make up for this,
    you can get whatever you want.
    I'm sorry baby, but I forgot."

    Sally looked at them
    Not sure if there are joking anymore
    She looked at them
    And felt a tear roll down her cheek

    Sally got up from the table
    And walked up the stairs
    She went to her room
    and sat on the bed

    Sally laid on her pillow
    Hugging Mr. Bear
    And she cried and cried
    Until she fell back asleep





    Submitted on 2005-12-21 22:43:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      a very sad poem and very touching and the way it was put was really genuine , quite a great job you did there, keeps one's attention up all time , good job
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]
      good story hear, i think i would like a little more feeling, and a little more description to make it seem more poetic, but i like that it's a poem told in third person, i really like that part.
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by colerinja | [ Reply to This ]


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