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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Adieudots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tekin_Kashami
    ASL Info:    18/male/Houston, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 131/77/23
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 626



    Description:
       Too retoracal for my normal tastes, but I have to write something, and get back in the habit.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAdieudots
    -------------------------------------------


    Do you remember,
    The days that went past?
    Or have they vanished?
    If so they sure faded fast.
    Is time such a big thing,
    that you can't see it all?
    If we don't know how long it is,
    how far will we fall?
    How far have we come?
    How far can we go?
    Who am I?
    Who are you?
    How do you know?
    Time is relative,
    Or so they claim.
    Relative to who, or what?
    It seems it's all the same.
    Is a moment for me
    Longer than for you?
    How many moments will you feel,
    when I bid adieu?




    Submitted on 2005-12-22 13:04:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Justin
    You will never bid adieu
    You are much to positive of a person and your belief in God will carry to everlasting Life
    This I am positive of
    God Bless
    My Friend
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Seems you ponder alot about time. You ask some good questions. And you had a better flow with this poem. I like the way you made the reader think. Nice job.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I can certainly comment on this, as it's a nice little philosophical love song. Once again, the rhyme seems a tad forced, but, in a song, you'd get away with it.

    I like all the questions you ask here, and the way that they are like generalisations all the way through until you totally personalize it with the last line, and turn it into a lover's wistful wandering.

    Very good, I liked this heaps!

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



    85337

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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