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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: War of the Hoursdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tekin_Kashami
    ASL Info:    18/male/Houston, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 131/77/23
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 867
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1180



    Description:
       This was originally a poem, but it only flows as lyrics. The rhyming is just that forced... I swear, I used to be talented.
    Let this be a lesson to you all, use it or lose it.
    How cliché'.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWar of the Hoursdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It peaks with glory
    Flames dance side to side
    The same Ancient story
    Of when worlds collide

    The rush, the ecstasy
    The pure-hearted joy
    Feel the pressure
    The war amongst time
    Again and again,
    The war of the hours

    When time fights
    it shatters bliss
    Eternal lights
    begin to extinguish
    Nothing we love
    Can survive the crush
    thriving in the cold of
    an entire world, hush

    The rush, the ecstasy
    The pure-hearted joy
    Feel the pressure
    The war amongst time
    Again and again,
    The war of the hours

    Sing the song, the eternal song
    Forever we can lament
    Everyone says they did no wrong
    Not a soul will repent
    We made it happen
    we started it all
    The world was mishapen
    and so began the fall

    When we declared a war of the hours

    The rush, the ecstasy
    The pure-hearted joy
    Feel the pressure
    The war amongst time
    Again and again,
    The war of the hours







    Submitted on 2005-12-22 13:28:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love the lyric flow.

    I often do peotry with percussion. This would work well in that form.

    Lots of truth... well said.

    Sing the song, the eternal song
    Forever we can lament
    Everyone says they did no wrong
    Not a soul will repent

    Good work!

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      Hello my Friend
    And Welcome Back
    I Missed talking to you
    In this write I believe you are opening some eyes to the desruction we as humans are doing to this beautiful creation called Mother Earth
    I too only wish People would start to open there eyes and see the destruction we are causing
    Very thought provoking write
    Please keep in touch
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This was piece was very INTERESTING. I think I kind of got it but I'm not sure...however... the topic of choice was very unique and the word power was strong. With a little dusting and polishing this could be an amazing write.

    nice work
    l.l.collins
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by L.L.COLLINS | [ Reply to This ]
      This was pretty deep but I really liked it. The flow wasn't forced in my opinion. There were a few parts that were a little rough but it wasn't bad. I liked the topic because I always hate time...I always wish I could be older and go back and save someone that kinda thing so this was a good topic to read for a change of the cutting and love ones around here. keep writing this was good.
    peace
    ~silent
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This had a complex message. you seem to be saying that there is not enough time and it is a battle to keep it in our grasp. At least that;s what I thought reading this. The flow as you called it was forced, but not bad. I think if you leave this poem alone for a bit, clear your mind, and come back to it, it might come easier to you. Improve it to you are comfortable with it. Overall, this really good.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


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    85340

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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