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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I'll be theredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ola
    ASL Info:    18/f/USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 221/187/42
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 446
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 947



    Description:
       I know it needs alot of help, i havern't written in a long whiile so this proly suckz, help! and enjoy. oh n i need a good title


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI'll be theredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Looking back
    On what we had
    The hugs we shared
    When times were hard

    Thinking back
    To the fights we had
    When I was Crying sad
    Or fighting mad

    Floating now
    On the Clouds of God
    Flying up
    To Heaven above

    Looking down
    To what’s below
    My lifeless body
    And your smothering sorrow

    But hoping soon
    you’ll find new love
    To replace
    That empty void

    I’m sorry that
    I had to leave
    But destiny
    Wont still had let me live

    Weeping tears
    To deafened ears
    Won’t bring me back
    But don’t despair

    Because one day love
    We’ll meet again
    On the other side
    Of heaven’s doors

    So pick yourself
    Up off the floor
    And look back on
    Our once alive love.





    Submitted on 2004-04-26 16:31:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The rhyme scheme was good, it wasn't forced(so obviously your doing something right) I don't know of a title for this, but i think you should think of something more original.
    | Posted on 2004-04-26 00:00:00 | by roxygirl239 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm...this could be a lot better, but I haven't been in the mood for poetry recently either so I can't really help. Lol. A good title would be "I'll be there"
    | Posted on 2004-04-27 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      yep agree with roxy, ryhme scheme grand, perfecto. i liked the positive approach, your poems are normally uplifting. happiness is good stay that way. peace kevin
    | Posted on 2004-04-27 00:00:00 | by kjb | [ Reply to This ]



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