One night, after a few drinks with the boys, she started to look perticularily attractive. He got up from the table, straightned himself out and started on the way towards that waitress. She was friendly to all the guys but he was sure she really liked him. Those winks and the fact that his food was always hot were not just common. He knew she was into him and he was going to prove it to the boys at the table. He walked ever so smoothly towards her, one hand in his pocket and the other dangling very suavely beside him. He knew she saw him on his way and she smiled at him, beckoning him towards her. After a long walk that he could see in his head like a movie he was in front of her. With a nod and a hand coming out of his pocket to rest on her shoulder he said "Shirley, sometime we really are going to have to leave these louts and have some fun of our own. Maybe a movie and some dinner next weekend?" With a smile and a toss of her hair she responded in the most gracious way "Fred, that sounds great but right now i'm seeing someone." Fred, knowing she could not be seen dating a customer understood perfectly. He would leave her his number and the ball was rolling.
One nigt while at work at the local pub Shirley thought she would die laughing. The group of regulars was there. Drinking and eating and generally making asses of themselves. They came every tuesday for the burger special, usually had too many beers and usually one or two of them ended up falling over or calling a cab. This one guy who was always flirting with her, he didn't seem to know that it was the waiteresses job to serve customers with a smile, came towards her. She had seen him get up, he almost fell over, twice. He stammered towards her, sweating, his eyes bloodshot, and when he got to her he had to rest his hand on her shoulder to keep from falling over. He looked at her chest and blurted out" Shirleyhow'boutyou'nmegograbadrinksometimesomewhereandhangout'sstuff". She could hardly keep from laughing out loud, but decided that because they were regulars she would simply tell him she was seeing someone. She was of course single, but a drunk, cheap smelly guy was not high on her list for a boyfriend.