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    dots Submission Name: Death to Cupid!dots

    Author: Senna27NZ
    ASL Info:    33/m/New Zealand-UK
    Elite Ratio:    5.42 - 251/184/26
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1570
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 815


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeath to Cupid!dots

    Beware the stealthy Cupid
    should you enter Love's dominion
    Do not expect to choose your love;
    for he cares not for your opinion

    He will tempt you from your torpor
    To throw away your fears and dare
    But once Love has a new addict
    of what becomes he doesn't care

    He will plunge you into passion
    the most deadly form of vice!
    Whilst sitting smug atop his cloud
    never proffering advice

    Oh how he toys with us mere mortals!
    knowing from the start
    That all things must surely end;
    all lovers have to part

    Barren hearted wanderers!
    Do not tread the path of woe
    Lest your world be swiftly shattered
    by evil Cupid and his bow

    Submitted on 2005-12-23 04:12:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Awesome. I raise to that idea, good work.
    Although I wouldnt mind being thrown into something, it might make my life more exciting because God knows nothing is happening now.

    Good job.
    Brilliant rhyming too.

    | Posted on 2007-04-17 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks for your comments folks. You were all right about the fifth stanza, it was crud, so I killed it.

    | Posted on 2007-03-03 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
      It is a little choppy, methinks, but it is still an interesting piece.
    That picture was emotionally scarring!
    Anyways, I liked it, I think. Though I tend to be more of a romantic, and any negative takes on love tend to be sad-making for me. But it was a truthful poem, and many people do perceive love to be like that, hurtful and confusing.
    Ah, well. It's what we pay to be human. ^_^

    | Posted on 2006-04-25 00:00:00 | by MaeBirdie | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed your poem. It's humourous and cynical. I loved cupid being a mischievous villian that tortures us with emotions that we cannot control. It's true but also sad in a way.
    I liked the rythm and the gathering momentum of the poem. Only the fifth stanza sticks out as somewhat awkward.

    take care
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by angeltwin | [ Reply to This ]
    Really nice...
    Reminds me of the song "stupid cupid" of Mandy Moore. I liked it. The last stanza was classy and a good ending.

    The rythme somewhat bumpy some places, but great write!
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by ChrystalR | [ Reply to This ]
      ok...i understand why you would write this. its very deep and very sad. i dont like that you shot cupid but it was a great poem and i enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by sweet-fire | [ Reply to This ]
      ha i love it,
    i like how cupid is shown as more of a villian then a beautiful being of love like he is portrayed mostly.
    the name totaly made me come read this and im glad i did its everything i hoped it to be. its an awesomn poem for people to relate to and feel better when reading it. the starting and the end where both really well, i also like the words you chose and the way you wrote them.

    i like this alot:
    He will plunge you into love
    The most deadly form of vice
    Then he watches from above
    Never offering advice

    this seems very true and makes alot of sense and put in a really cool way. defianatly one of the better poems iv seen on here, i shall go look at other poems youv done now. by the way i like your cupid picture too.
    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by ohgpanic | [ Reply to This ]
      I couldn't resist reading this poem jus looking at the title! haha. it's a great chance to get back at Cupid for all the acts of mischief he created that resulted in heartbreaks in mismatches, sleepless nights and endless quarrels.. funny, witty and making the reader yearn for a greater stab at revenge. the only bad thing i can say is that i feel the rhyming is a bit awkward and inconsistent cos it's kinda random.. or maybe it's supposed to be that way? haha.

    thanks for the interesting read.

    take care,

    | Posted on 2006-01-06 00:00:00 | by wilted_ | [ Reply to This ]
      bravo.. I really enjoyed this and it is so
    very true.. and what is the worst is that
    fact that he catches you with your guard
    down and at the worst time so will we go
    around in live looking over our shoulder
    for that little winged bandit aiming for our
    heart.. no until next time your singing the
    song of I welcome cupid.. chow
    | Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by pennymarie | [ Reply to This ]
      well, sounds like you have been down the dead end road of love.

    Okay, the only thing that kinda bothered me was the repitition of some words, otherwise it was a good poem.
    Everything else has been mentioned, and I hate to beat a dead horse.

    Merry Christmas...have a good one!

    | Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the subject, and the pace is pretty good...I like a darker take on the cupid, he doesn't get the hostile treatment he sometimes deserves...this is just a small, personal issue, but there seems to be something awkward about the last stanza.

    RWS is right about the fifth stanza, but that's easily fixed if you choose to...

    Good poem, I'll be regarding Cupid with suspicion for the rest of my days...
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by Corvettlaufer | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds as if you've experienced the agonies of love at first sight (and felt the effects of love's terminal condition when the ardor cools). Your shift to first person in the fifth stanza almost snapped my neck, it happened so suddenly. Perhaps a little revision of that stanza is in order to maintain both the tone and pace of the poem. Other than that, nicely done cynical little love song. Take care. Bill.
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]

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