It was a war, whether he knew it or not. But I knew it for what it truly was: A tragedy of teas. This war was different. There would be no death or guns or even the clash of armies. It was wit against wit, skill against skill, and excellent service put to the ultimate test.
Every night for a week I ate at a particular restaurant. The food was astonishing but the service even more so. (All the more reason to return) But therein lay the problem.
I always ordered iced tea. Two sugar packets tossed into the tart drink and stirred exactly ten times.
Clink. Clink. Clink.
No more. No less.
It was a science or sorts; an exact art; a balance that could not be changed even to the most microscopic degree. But the waiter did not know. He did not understand. He would refill my glass when it wasn’t even half full (or half empty depending on your point of view).
And so the war began.
I tried adding more sugar but by then the balanced ration of tea to sugar had been thrown off too much, the beautiful mixture of tea and sugar gone.
Then I knew what I had to do. It was the only way to save my flawless solution. As soon as the waiter filled my glass, I perfected my concoction and begun to drink.
I poured it down my throat in large desperate gulps. Faster I drunk.
Breath! I needed to breath! I pulled the glass from my puckered lips, sucking in air. But time was working against me.
He was returning!
I put my glass down, trying not to slam it in haste. I averted my eyes and glanced about casually. Admiring the atmosphere I kept on eye on the waiter.
False alarm! He carried no pitcher. I was there, I could feel it!
One last frantic gulp and it was done. An empty glass. I’d never seen a more welcome sight.
Not two seconds later he refilled my glass. It didn’t matter. A smile slid onto my face.
I had won. . .
| Very funny! The title of this grabbed my attention, so I had to read it and I'm happy I did. Everyone has their little quirks, and it's always fun to read about other's. I like in how you described the waiter as you had the tea to just the way you like it. It was as if he knew you just fixed your tea and wanted to see you struggle to get it perfect again. Very well done. ^_^||| Posted on 2006-04-22 00:00:00 | by RumnMoxie | [ Reply to This ] || This was funny to me! I have done the same as you. See I too like tea and do not like people messing with my nector from the gods.|
Thank for the read it put a smile on my face.
|| Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ] || I think this is adorably innocent and very unique, I have not seen anything quite like it. the war of the drinker of the tea and the evil waiter who does not understand the complexities of the right amount of sweetness in tea. it is reminiscent of Monty Python type dry humor perhaps many cannot appreciate that without swear words put in. now as for the epic battle here I see a few passes by the waiter likened to a bomber on a sortie mission. perhaps the battle could have been prolonged here say the packets of sweetener= the troops, the hand of the man is perhaps government forces. then by that equation perhaps more troops=more sugar packets could be brought into the battle. many other troops await this battle by the supply lines being other tables’ sweetner holders. maybe more passes by the evil waiter is needed couple refills and other conflicts of wills between waiter and man/lady; thus deepening the scope of the battle. nevertheless I do like it, it is very cute and funny. splendid job, |
|| Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ] |