[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Pandaemonium (All Daemons)dots

    Author: Ratboy
    ASL Info:    17/Male/South Slocan B.C.
    Elite Ratio:    5.17 - 50/73/22
    Words: 340
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1361
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2197

       An English assignment. Based on John Milton's "Paradise Lost". The picture is a Gustave Doré engraving.

    If you don't know anything about "Paradise Lost", the basic idea is this: Lucifer tried to take over in Heaven, but God fought him back, and eventually succeeded in banishing him and his followers to Hell. Lucifer, later called Satan, claimed the rhelm of Hell for himself, and became it's supreme ruler. From there he looked for ways to get back at his arch-nemisis, God.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPandaemonium (All Daemons)dots

    Amidst all wrong and ageless crime of old,
    That by inferno fall to smouldered ruin,
    And tri-tone hymns combusted full with wrath,
    As far in form as pendulum’s retreat,
    To summit’s holy cord in Heaven’s chorus,
    Great he, the fallen prince, doth raise his whole
    In beetle form, alight with vengeful sin,
    Among the gathered multitude of fiends,
    Who, in the moving dark, do fail outmost
    To separate in body, or, forsooth, in mind.

    Each creature, cursed, forever damned,
    And from almighty God, in favour lost,
    Congressed as one, as would a colony
    Of lesser swine, that under foot or branch
    Consume in parts, the rancid rot of dead,
    With armoured hides and daggered heads
    As minuscule as poison’s drop; then taken
    Quick by skeletal appendages,
    Steal secretly away, and by return
    To under stone, or similar domain.

    The mighty Crevice! Ripped within the earth
    And unbeknownst to all, save those of sin,
    Inhales, like to expand the awesome chest
    Of some colossus beast, with columns grown
    As ribs of stone, beneath its height aflame,
    And welcomes Satan, lord of spite, who stands
    On high in lowest realm of hateful scorn;
    Who to enormity and horrid form doth grow
    And who from Hell’s impairing blindness speaks
    At this the potent time of coming night:

    “Here me, worthies wrongly struck by thunder
    From His throne so high in perilous deceit!
    Rise not through shame, nor fear this faulty prison
    Down to which we fell from Heaven’s bloodied field,
    Unjustly wrenched from origin and cast
    Through thick of doom to torch at plummet’s end!
    And ask I now to His almighty crown,
    Is this corroded crack of Hell complete?
    This final effort cast by blistered hand,
    Or down to further reaches must we dwell?
    For if it so, I do request this toil
    And stand will I to feel thou weakened blows,
    Until the age of late, when we the damned
    Shall fly, and be as would to water, ink.”

    Submitted on 2005-12-23 20:37:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hello Sam,

    stanza one: In the opening two lines the scene is painted well, I feel like I’m surrounded by awful things I do like the “inferno fall to smouldered ruin” now the thing that stood out to me as a mystery here is tri-tone. I looked up this mysterious thing to find out what is special about the tri-tone I found it to be a musical interval that spans three whole tones and within that there are six smaller semitones. What was another interesting thing I found it was called in its scale diabolus in musica or the Devil’s interval. I looked at the 3 and 6 hmm 666 anyhow I found it amusing to say the least. now the tri-tones combusting in wrath gives it more flavor for me now that I know what it is and also after hearing its very discordant tone. the 4th line I am sorry to say it takes my head for a spin I’m thinking what is far in form? as far the pendulum I do wonder if that is a reference to time or maybe Edgar Allen Poe’s pit and the pendulum. on line 5 I see that as a comparison or maybe even a deeper theological reference to angels being musical beings, even fallen ones. little part of my fundamentalist mind there. line 6 I see the “prince” hmm prince of darkness I gather. Interesting thing here on line 7 is in beetle form. and why? beetles eat dead flesh, animal excrement, and plants. so it mostly feeds on death and waste, perhaps that is the illustration. now the multitude of fiends here are described almost as if one where to describe the body of Christ and his church with the do fail to separate in body or indeed in mind.

    Stanza two: here it is a special that each individual creature is damned gives me a sense of the responsibility they have for being there. the colony of pigs analogy is nice. I love the “consume in parts, the rancid rot of the dead” that reminds of Jesus when he said there will be “weeping and gnashing of teeth” a vision of hell of those who chew on each other gives it more of a horror than just burning. the rest I just see as horrid things.

    stanza three: the scene here is very good seeing giant columns like ribs of stone in what is described and what appears to be the body of hell. I really like the this stanza the lord of spite and how he is on high in lowest realm of hateful scorn. that has me think it is better to be the least in heaven than be the highest in the lowest realm of hell or any part of hell I would imagine. also I do get this feel of the impairing blindness as if ones eyes are burned or even the feeling of being so lost and unimportant in the expanse of the abyss.

    stanza four: Satan’s speech. he speaks to his crowd as worthies and talks of being struck by thunder. reminds me of God’s voice how it is described as a booming thunder. another part here that hit me was the Heaven’s bloodied field. now just in that opens a couple doors of thought; one being that the more obvious battle with blood on a field. then the other thought is that the blood is a stain left behind. unjustly wrenched that I think of perhaps another view that isn’t wasn’t a fight but more of a question that started the epic “battle” another thing here is the weakened blows I wonder if that is a sentiment that the punishment could be tolerated after a time perhaps. in the last line is another puzzling part of the piece to fly and be as to water, ink. I think water perhaps water of life the living water yet as ink? maybe something to do with be inscribed in the book of death with ink being permanent. perhaps it is a threat to spoil the living waters or what would lead those to those waters some way.

    overall a chilling piece graphic in a gloom and doom sense many mysterious parts of this write took me for a ride but I did enjoy the journey it is like a flyer to a person like me to get a sense of where one is headed. excellent job,

    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]