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Hollow


Author: mrmundane
ASL Info:    20/m/vancouver bc
Elite Ratio:    2.4 - 47 /96 /78
Words: 172
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1197
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1136



Description:




Hollow



it's a little hard to tear what isn't there.
can't tear at this because there's nothing i wear.
on my sleeve there's nothing to bare.
because it's never there.

when you say my name
ask where i've been
i don't know when
i don't know where
i'm just no longer there...

there's nothing else i'll give--
those who broke me
broke me
took everything i had.

if you tell me different
i'll run away
you don't mean anything to me
and i like it better that way.

i can't allow myself to live in the here and the now
i see you for who you are days from now
a skill i learnt to keep them at bay
the ones who drag you down
into the dirt, where i don't want to be

guilt me you might try
hold me close and cry
but nothing that you do
will be felt; but i appreciate the gesture

and you can't weaken me
i'm just a distant memory.




Submitted on 2005-12-23 22:20:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  you seem so pissed off in your work but when you finish the poem it doesnt come off to you that way, its sad because you talk about being alone, not really here.
really like your work.<3ash
| Posted on 2006-05-08 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
  You fascinate me.
I havent read that much stuff from you, but it's all that I need to know you're talented.
I like the part:

"if you tell me different
i'll run away
you're nothing to me
and i like it that way."

What else can i say?
Hmm... you know what? This is going to the favorites.

Very nicely done

-nikkki
| Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this, especially when I read it out loud. The rhythm matched the tone of the piece nicely. Message came across loud and clear. I'm not a fan of rhymes-they always always always sound forced and fake but I get what you're doing here so a little rhyming will be forgiven. Good job.
| Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Side of Keen | [ Reply to This ]
  i think you have potential to do bettter. the scheme changed in the middle and the words could have been more dramatic and more specific. But you have skills you should defenitly keep it up.
| Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Jingles | [ Reply to This ]
  i think you have potential to do bettter. the scheme changed in the middle and the words could have been more dramatic and more specific. But you have skills you should defenitly keep it up.
| Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Jingles | [ Reply to This ]
  Im amazed...this was really good. maybe change the first paragraph a bit and you definently have something worth publishing in books. the way that some of it doesnt ryhmw really impresses me...very good work!
| Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by shadows | [ Reply to This ]


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