Description: I want true critical analysis of my poem.I am a scientist so in the poem i am wishing good luck to scientific community for new year 2006.
New Year 2006 -------------------------------------------
Let us welcome the advent of New Year 2006…
May peace prevails every where
May happiness shines every face
May every heart be filled with love & compassion
No more tsunamis, katrinas and earthquakes
May pain vanish from our Earth.
In 2006 may all genes get cloned
all proteins get expressed
protein interactions get revealed
and puzzles get solved.
May 2006 yield great publications,
lucrative grants
and make our research
jubilant and adventurous.
This is an interesting write I understand the desire foe world peace We both have this desire I only wish people would open there eyes to the simple fact the answer is right in front of us It is Love Sweet Love All we have to do is let it in to our subconcious and spread the beautiful message God Bless Ron
This seemed almost satiric (yet I'm certain you're sincerely expressing your concerns, albeit in a disjointed manner). This reads as a toast to the coming year spoken at an international convention by a rather dry emcee, not as a series of image-related thoughts on a perticular theme. You still have a week to revise this for 2006 (or a year for '07), so I'd suggest voicing your personal, not professional, concerns for the new year. Just a thought. Happy New Year. Bill.
wow you want critical and here I go. I find it hard to imagine a poetic scientist and you poem backs up my logic. This piece was a bunch of thouhgts arranged in short lines not in anyway poetic. As a poet it is important for your work to create an image, yield an emotion or make the reader think deeply. None of these was accomplished here.
If I am correct, scientists think literally and logically. Poets think figuratively and imaginatively. I don't know whether there is a way to combine them. I'm not trying to stereotype you or categorize scientist but from what I know and what this piece shows me you haven't quite left your element.
Suggestions; -Try to create an image of your hopes and dreams for the scientific world in the upcoming year. Not exactly sure how you could do that but it's worth a try. -stop being so literal. figurative laguage is always a plus. -make ur words flow so that it is pleasing to the ear when read aloud. Flow always adds power to a piece.
You cant approach poetry like a lab report. Thier is no scientific method for creativity. Let ur hair down and step outside of your box. You just might surprise yourself. I hope my comments have been helpfull.
Submission Name: New Year 2006
