Ouch. This was so serious, it almost felt like you were reading a journal. Felt like you were there. Scary. I hate war. I hate guns.
But I guess we need them to protect ourselves. I don't think they will ever go away, now that they have been created.
Everything of yours, that I have read, has been way serious. I'm not saying it is a bad thing, not at all. It just makes me wonder what a lighthearted poem or story by you would read like.
I really liked this. Your form really keeps the poem moving & makes it come alive- It made it all seem so much more real.
I really like 'air in my lungs' the repeat of that line is really well line, I waited for it to stop. Each time I read it I knew he was still alive.. Not much more to say about it, another well written poem. A good movie too
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